YO EVERY TIME I HEAR THIS NIGGA I ERUPT INTO LAUGHTER CUZ ALL I HEAR/PICTURE IS THAT FROSTED TIP AMPHIBIAN LOOKIN NIGGA SINGIN "HEY NOW! YOU'RE AN ALLSTAR!"...THESE NIGGAS WENT THE OTHER WAY AND DECIDED TO NOT DO CHRISTMAS STANDARDS AND INSTEAD SING ABOUT SHIT LIKE "WE'LL BEAT YOU UP SANTI CLAUDS!!!"...THESE NIGGAS PROBABLY THINK ITS STILL 1998 CUZ I CAN HEAR THESE NIGGAS WEARING ZOOT SUITS AND DOING CARTWHEELS ON STAGE WITH A 20 PIECE BAND AND ONLY 4 NIGGAS ARE PLAYING INSTRUMENTS. THE REST OF THEM ARE "SKANKING" OR WHATEVER THAT SHIT IS CALLED. YO CAN SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP A PICTURE OF THE LEAD SINGER OF THIS BAND IN A ONESIE? NAHMEAN LIKE A BABY'S BODY IN A ONESIE WITH THIS FAT ALCOHOLIC'S HEAD ON IT BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A BABY GUY FIERI TROLL. WHICH IS VERY APROPOS SINCE THIS WHOLE CD IS STRAIGHT DONKEY SAUCE, AND BY DONKEY SAUCE I MEAN THE EJACULATE OF A DONKEY B. THIS CD IS AUDIO DONKEY SEMEN B. "ZAT YOU SANTA CLAUS" JUST CAME ON AND I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK TO LAUGH CUZ THIS DUDE'S VOICE/CADENCE ON THIS SONG IN PARTICULAR SOUNDS LIKE SOME SHIT NIGGAS WOULD DO ON GLEE TO THE EXCITED SQUEALS OF MAROON CLAD TEENS ALL OVER THE WHOLE UNITED STATES. MY WIFE'S NIECEPHEW WOULD LOVE THIS SHIT. DAMN I'M ONLY 2 CD'S IN AND I FUCKIN HATE CHRISTMAS. THANKS ASSHOLES.
I GIVE THIS 1 PILE OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 BECAUSE I LAUGHED OTHERWISE I WOULDA GAVE THIS SHIT 0 B. ANYTHING THAT REMINDS ME OF GUY FIERI AND DONKEY EJACULATE IS NOT GONNA SCORE HIGH ON THE DUTCHGUTSOMETER. ALSO THIS NIGGA DID A CHARLIE BROWN SONG AND RUINED IT.
STANDOUT TRACK: "ZAT YOU SANTA CLAUS" IS HILARIOUS B. IT'S SO BAD I LAUGHED AT THE SHIT AND MY WIFE WAS LIKE "WHATS SO FUNNY" AND I UNPLUGGED MY HEADPHONES AND SHE WAS LIKE "THIS IS TERRIBLE" AND MY SON WAS LIKE "NO! NO! NO!" AND RAN OUT THE ROOM.
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
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On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
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I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.