The Twelve Days Of Mero - Smash Mouth's "The Gift Of Rock"
YO EVERY TIME I HEAR THIS NIGGA I ERUPT INTO LAUGHTER CUZ ALL I HEAR/PICTURE IS THAT FROSTED TIP AMPHIBIAN LOOKIN NIGGA SINGIN "HEY NOW! YOU'RE AN ALLSTAR!"...THESE NIGGAS WENT THE OTHER WAY AND DECIDED TO NOT DO CHRISTMAS STANDARDS AND INSTEAD SING ABOUT SHIT LIKE "WE'LL BEAT YOU UP SANTI CLAUDS!!!"...THESE NIGGAS PROBABLY THINK ITS STILL 1998 CUZ I CAN HEAR THESE NIGGAS WEARING ZOOT SUITS AND DOING CARTWHEELS ON STAGE WITH A 20 PIECE BAND AND ONLY 4 NIGGAS ARE PLAYING INSTRUMENTS. THE REST OF THEM ARE "SKANKING" OR WHATEVER THAT SHIT IS CALLED. YO CAN SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP A PICTURE OF THE LEAD SINGER OF THIS BAND IN A ONESIE? NAHMEAN LIKE A BABY'S BODY IN A ONESIE WITH THIS FAT ALCOHOLIC'S HEAD ON IT BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A BABY GUY FIERI TROLL. WHICH IS VERY APROPOS SINCE THIS WHOLE CD IS STRAIGHT DONKEY SAUCE, AND BY DONKEY SAUCE I MEAN THE EJACULATE OF A DONKEY B. THIS CD IS AUDIO DONKEY SEMEN B. "ZAT YOU SANTA CLAUS" JUST CAME ON AND I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK TO LAUGH CUZ THIS DUDE'S VOICE/CADENCE ON THIS SONG IN PARTICULAR SOUNDS LIKE SOME SHIT NIGGAS WOULD DO ON GLEE TO THE EXCITED SQUEALS OF MAROON CLAD TEENS ALL OVER THE WHOLE UNITED STATES. MY WIFE'S NIECEPHEW WOULD LOVE THIS SHIT. DAMN I'M ONLY 2 CD'S IN AND I FUCKIN HATE CHRISTMAS. THANKS ASSHOLES.
I GIVE THIS 1 PILE OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 BECAUSE I LAUGHED OTHERWISE I WOULDA GAVE THIS SHIT 0 B. ANYTHING THAT REMINDS ME OF GUY FIERI AND DONKEY EJACULATE IS NOT GONNA SCORE HIGH ON THE DUTCHGUTSOMETER. ALSO THIS NIGGA DID A CHARLIE BROWN SONG AND RUINED IT.
STANDOUT TRACK: "ZAT YOU SANTA CLAUS" IS HILARIOUS B. IT'S SO BAD I LAUGHED AT THE SHIT AND MY WIFE WAS LIKE "WHATS SO FUNNY" AND I UNPLUGGED MY HEADPHONES AND SHE WAS LIKE "THIS IS TERRIBLE" AND MY SON WAS LIKE "NO! NO! NO!" AND RAN OUT THE ROOM.
Turn Up to Keys N Krates' Diplo & Friends Mix
Occasionally, we the at Noisey will kindly request that you drop whatever you're doing and turn the goddamn motherfuck up. Now is one of those times.
Meet Amos: The Man Who Designs Moog's Wonderful Toys
Moogfest takes place in North Carolina this Wednesday and boasts a lineup including M.I.A., Giorgio Moroder, Kraftwerk, Dan Deacon and many more. So we talked to the man who dreams up synths.
I Went to Bogotá in Colombia For Festival Estéreo Picnic and Danced For Days
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Give Life Back to Fhqwhgads
How a Strong Bad/Daft Punk mash-up album helped bring out the magic in 'Random Access Memories.'
HEARTSREVOLUTION Talk Pop Culture, Feminism, and Michael Jackson's Crystals
"This is our love letter to this generation. It’s an invitation to a conversation…"
Behind the Lens: Sky Ferreira Is Not Racist
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Lifting the Curse off Necrophobic, Swedish Death Metal's Forgotten Sons
After years of misfortune and tragedy, the overlooked band Necrophobic might finally be catching a break.
For Absolutely No Reason, Here Are Musicians' Favorite Snacks Today, April 20
Albert Hammond Jr., Curtis Williams of Two-9, Brendan Kelly of The Lawrence Arms and others share some snacks they just happen to like.
The Weirdest Records of All Time
Featuring earthquake recordings, records pressed with diarrhea, and breastfeeding soundtracks.
Get Blazed and Make Some Custom Weed-Themed GIFs of Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, B.O.B. or Classified for 4/20
Are you high right now? Then you'll love making a GIF.