
OH SHIT THE COKEGOD ROD STEWART...YO THIS DUDE KEPT IT 3HUNNA AND DID MOSTLY MALL SOUNDTRACK JENNIFER ANISTON MOVIE STANDARD SHITS ON THIS JOINT. NAHMEAN NO FUNNY ASS "SANTA CLAUS DOING CARTHWHEELS WITH HIS DICK OUT" OR OTHER BULLSHIT "FUNNY" SONGS. MY NIGGA ROD IS WILD CUZ HE BEEN SINGING WITH THE "I BEEN SMOKING A PACK OF NEWPORTS A DAY SINCE IN UTERO" VOICE FOREVER. REMEMBER THAT LOX JOINT "IF YOU THINK I'M JIGGY?" THAT WAS A GREAT SONG B THAT WAS ROD INSPIRED (PAUSE) I'M ABOUT TO YOUTUBE IT. YO THIS IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ROD STEWART BUT IF YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH A PUERTO RICAN MILF YOU JUST GOTTA SHOW UP TO HER CRIB WITH A DIME OF "MID" OR WHAT I REFER TO AS "HARACAS CACAS" AND A LISA LISA / STEVIE B MIX CD. YOU'RE WELCOME. MENTALLY HIGH FIVE ME WHILE YOU GETTING MIND BLOWING TOP TO "I WONDER IF I TAKE YOU HOME"...OR PAYPAL A NIGGA SOME BREAD YOU UNGRATEFUL COWARD. ROD STEWART HAIR IS WILD B. THAT NIGGAS HAIR LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS ON GUY FIERI'S WIFE OR ONE OF THOSE "MY PET MONSTER" DOLLS FROM BACK IN THE DAY. SHOUTOUT TO YOU IF YOU KNEW WHAT THAT WAS WITHOUT GOOGLING IT. CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU NIGGAS RIGHT NOW? I'M LISTENING TO GUNPLAY B I STOPPED LISTENING TO ROD STEWART LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO. HOW MANY EMBROIDERED VELVET BLAZERS YOU THINK ROD STEWART HAS? PROLLY MORE THAN 20 ARMENIAN CLUB PROMOTERS.
I GIVE THIS 2 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUTTA 5 CUZ CUZ ROD STEWART WEARS VELVET BLAZERS TO FORMAL EVENTS. NIGGA WEARS A SMOKING JACKET AND HE LOOKS LIKE CHEF ANNE BURREL...PROLLY SPELLED HER NAME WRONG BUT INQUIRE AS TO WHETHER I GIVE A FINNUCK. BUT SHOUTOUT TO THE A JOINT ON HERE WITH MICHAEL BUBLE WHO IS THE PATRON SAINT OF MENOPAUSE.
STANDOUT TRACK: THE ONE ABOUT CHRISTMAS WAS OK. I'M LISTENING TO BACHATA RIGHT NOW TO BE QUITE HONEST...ROD STEWART SHOULD DO A BACHATA ALBUM. *CALLS MANAGEMENT*
The Kid Mero's daily doses of #XMASKNOWLEDGE continue. Find him on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
-
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
-
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
-
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
-
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
-
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
-
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
-
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
-
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
-
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
-
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.
Comments