YO JUSTIN BIEBER IS THE WORST MY NIGGA. I LISTENED TO THIS WHOLE SHIT SHAKING MY HEAD VIGOROUSLY. WHAT IS THIS ACOUSTIC FUCKERY B? YO I SEEN THIS NIGGA PERFORMING AT THE VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW AND THE NIGGA WAS DRESSED LIKE A SHEMALE FROM TRON. THIS SHIT GOT A WHO'S WHO OF 1992 R&B NIGGAS ON IT B. THERE'S A JOINT ON HERE CALLED "I LOVE THE WHITE STUFF" WITH CHICO DEBARGE ON IT. (JUST KIDDING THAT WOULDA MADE THIS CD TOLERABLE) "SANTA'S COMING GIRL!" THIS NIGGA SAID "SANTA'S COMING GIRL! WOO!" LIKE HE JUST POPPED A MOLLY AND IS SWEATING. YO CAN I KEEP IT REAL WIT YOU NIGGAS RIGHT NOW? JUSTIN BIEBER INFURIATES ME B. ITS LIKE WHEN JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE HAD CORNROWS AND WAS WEARING PARASUCOS, I WAS LIKE "THIS NIGGA GOT SOME NERVE." EVERY TIME I SEE THIS LIL NIGGA ON THE RED CARPET DRESSED LIKE ELLEN DEGENERES AT A YOUNG MONEY VIDEO SHOOT I WANNA SUPLEX HIM ONTO A PILE OF FLAMING BRICKS. WHATEVER THOUGH HE'S NOT STUPID, EVERY 12 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL ON EARTH IS GONNA COP 4 COPIES OF THIS BULLSHIT EVERY YEAR. THIS IS FOR THE SCENE IN THE NICHOLAS SPARKS MOVIE WHERE THE DUDE RUNS THROUGH THE SLEET AND SNOW AFTER A BUS THAT'S CARRYING AWAY HIS ONE TRUE LOVE, BUT WAIT!! HE STOPS THE BUS AND SHE GETS OFF AND LEAPS INTO HIS ARMS!! *CUE BIEBER.MP3*...YO SHOUTOUT TO USHER THOUGH THAT WEASEL FACE ASS NIGGA IS SWIMMING IN A POOL OF MONEY AND BLACK MARKET WHITE PEOPLE ORGANS OFF THE STRENGTH OF THIS NIGGA B.
I GIVE THIS SHIT 0 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 CUZ THIS NIGGA HAD THE CAUCACITY TO DO A JOINT WITH BUSTA RHYMES (WHO IS SIGNED TO EVERY RAP LABEL ON EARTH) AND RAP ALL FAST ABOUT GIVING TO CHARITY OR SOME OTHER HOLIDAY BULLSHIT.
STANDOUT TRACK: *PUTS CD ON WALL* *SHOOTS CD* THAT'S THE STANDOUT TRACK NIGGA.
The Kid Mero will be reviewing Christmas albums for the next twelve days. Find more of his holiday cheer on Twitter--@THEKIDMERO
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.