Reviews

The Twelve Days Of Mero - Jimmy Buffett's "Christmas Island"

By The Kid Mero

0

YO THIS DUDE STILL MAKES MONEY. HOW DOES THIS NIGGA STILL MAKE MONEY? HIS WHOLE SWAG IS "OLD WHITE GUY IN A HAWAIIAN SHIRT." THIS IS DISNEY CHANNEL FIJI MUSIC. "WHAT YOU MEAN MERO?" I MEAN THIS IS THE MUSIC FOR A DISNEY CHANNEL MOVIE ABOUT A LITTLE WHITE KID THAT LOST HIS MOMS FAMILY HEIRLOOM LOCKET IN FIJI AND GOES ON A "HILARIOUS ESCAPADE!!! HAHA!!!" TO FIND THE SHIT. JIMMY YOUR NEXT ALBUM SHOULD BE ENTITLED WHITE DAD MUZIK: CHRONICLES OF THE SPORT SANDAL. NAHMEAN ONE OF THE INSTRUMENTS IN THIS NIGGA BAND IS A DUDE PLAYING THE VELCRO ON HIS TEVAS. THIS IS MUSIC FOR NIGGAS WHO WEAR WATER SHOES AND A TSHIRT IN A POOL. IF YOU'RE 55 AND WEAR WITTLE SWIMMYTIME GOGGLES TO THE BEACH THIS IS YOUR SHIT. JIMMY DID SOME STANDARDS ON SOME ACOUSTIC DAD SHIT BUT MOST OF THIS SHIT IS "AHMA DRANKIN A MAI TAI ONNA BEEEEACH MARRY MARRY CHRISSSMUUUHHHSSS"... MELE KALIKIMAGET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE B YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WORK THE COUNTER AT AN AUTO PARTS SHOP ON A DESOLATE STRETCH OF HIGHWAY. SHOUTOUT TO VICE FOR MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY DETEST EVERY ASPECT OF CHRISTMAS BY MAKING ME LISTEN TO THIS SHIT B. *THROWS THIS LITE BEER MUSIC IN THE GARBAGE*

I GIVE THIS SHIT 0 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 CUZ IT MAKES ME THINK OF WARM TROPICS AND I'M IN THE MISERABLE BRONX FREEZING MY DICK OFF. ALSO NEVER WANNA HEAR A STEEL DRUM EVER AGAIN.

STANDOUT TRACK: "RUN RUN RUDOLPH" CUZ I JUST READ THE TITLE AND PRETENDED IT'S A SONG ABOUT A MOB ATTACKING RUDY GIULIANI FOR MAKING EVERYTHING IN NEW YORK ILLEGAL.

 

The Kid Mero blogs and dispenses #KNOWLEDGEDARTS on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO

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