YO REMEMBER THAT OLD VIDEO OF THIS NIGGA WEARING A METAL DURAG? IF YOU DO PLEASE LINK THAT SHIT IN THE COMMENTS CUZ I NEED THAT FOR WHEN I SMOKE WEED. THIS IS A CHRISTMAS ALBUM (DUH) AND IT'S CHRISTMAS SONGS BLAH BLAH BUT YO CEE LO GREEN USED TO JUST BE A LITTLE FAT NIGGA RAPPIN WITH GOODIE MOB AND THEN HE TURNED INTO THE BLACK ELTON JOHN. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? YOU TELLIN ME THIS DUDE DON'T DRESS LIKE ROCKET MAN-ERA ELTON JOHN? YA BOY'S GARMENTS RESEMBLES A TRANSGENDER DISCO SUPERVILLAIN B. ALSO CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS ON A JOINT ON THIS ALBUM AND I WAS JUST SITTIN THERE THINKIN HOW SHE GOT FAT AND THEN I IMAGINED THESE TWO FAT MIDGETS FUCKIN IN A KIDDIE POOL FULL OF NUTELLA AND I DECIDED I DIDNT NEED THE REST OF THIS CROISSANT. THANKS FOR THAT. YO LOOK AT THE COVER OF THIS SHIT TOO B...HOW MUCH COCAINE YOU THINK CEELO DOES? I'MA SAY ABOUT A GRAM EVERY 3 HOURS DEPENDING ON THE QUALITY. THIS NIGGA PROLLY GETS OUTSTANDING COCAINE THOUGH. RICH NIGGAS ALWAYS GET HIGH QUALITY DRUGS AND THIS NIGGA IS RICH AS FUCK. I KNOW THEY PAYING HIM $OD.00 TO BE ON THAT SHOW WITH THE SPINNING CHAIRS AND THE LITTLE JEWISH DUDE FROM MAROON5. THIS ALBUM IS COOL I GUESS IF YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS MUSIC BUT WHO LIKES CHRISTMAS MUSIC BESIDES WHITE MOMS AND HOMELESS NIGGAS? HOMELESS DUDES LIKE XMAS MUSIC CUZ THEY CAN SING IT FOR CHANGE AND ENDEAR THEMSELVES TO MUTHAFUCKAS WITH DISPOSABLE INCOME. I DON'T HAVE NO DISPOSABLE ANYTHING. I BE REUSING THE PLASTIC CONTAINERS AND FLATWARE FROM THE CHINESE SPOT B. I COULD PROLLY BUILD A TOWER OUTTA THOSE SHITS AND HIDE IN IT AND CRY ABOUT HOW BROKE I AM. I'M NOT GIVING HOMELESS NIGGAS NO MONEY B. CUZ THEN I'D BE HOMELESS, AND I HATE CHRISTMAS MUSIC. THERE'S A SONG ON HERE WITH FUCKIN KERMIT THE FROG? GET THIS NIGGA OUTTA HERE.
I GIVE THIS 3 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUTTA 5 CUZ OF THE METAL DURAG VIDEO AND CEE-LO HAS GREAT TITS.
STANDOUT TRACK: "MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY" CUZ ROD STEWART IS ON THAT SHIT AND THAT STUDIO SESSION PROLLY PUT ALOT OF MONEY INTO ONE OF MY UNCLE'S POCKET.
We're pretty sure The Kid Mero hates us for making him listen to so much Christmas music, but find more of his #KNOWLEDGE on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
An InterSCREW with Michael 5000 Watts
In anticipation of his gig in Brooklyn this weekend, we called up the Houston legend.
2013: A Year in Memes
Pry the keyboard from my hands, claw the eyes out of my head, strip me naked and leave me for dead on the side of the road, but you will never take my memes.
Liveblogging the New Beyoncé Album with Kitty Pryde
Because Beyoncé is the queen of the universe, I spent money on this album on iTunes. It is 12:41 am on a Friday night and I am actually currently typing my iTunes password into iTunes because I'm paying money for this music on iTunes. Oh, now it's done. He
2013: The Year Nelly Was Everywhere and Nowhere at the Same Time
No other artist spent as much time so close to the Zeitgeist as Nelly this year without being even remotely close to being the Zeitgeist.
You Don’t Like Childish Gambino's 'Because the Internet' Because of the Internet
Don't allow the narrative surrounding Donald Glover's musical career define the way you think.
The Real Difference Between a Mixtape and an Album
Why do rappers still about sales when they could release a mixtape, gain exposure, and cash in later?
Are the Grammys Irrelevant or Did Yeezus Actually Suck?
Breaking down Yeezy's obsession with the awards.
2013: A Year In Which Some Music Happened
A year’s art starts on Day One of the new year. If we don’t quantify it somehow by December, who are we as a people and what is our worth?
If R. Kelly Makes Us So Uncomfortable, Why Do We Keep Listening?
This is art we're talking about, and it's as real as you allow it to be.
Britney Spears: Capitalism's Last Stand
At last, the Queen has found her domain.