YO REMEMBER THAT OLD VIDEO OF THIS NIGGA WEARING A METAL DURAG? IF YOU DO PLEASE LINK THAT SHIT IN THE COMMENTS CUZ I NEED THAT FOR WHEN I SMOKE WEED. THIS IS A CHRISTMAS ALBUM (DUH) AND IT'S CHRISTMAS SONGS BLAH BLAH BUT YO CEE LO GREEN USED TO JUST BE A LITTLE FAT NIGGA RAPPIN WITH GOODIE MOB AND THEN HE TURNED INTO THE BLACK ELTON JOHN. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? YOU TELLIN ME THIS DUDE DON'T DRESS LIKE ROCKET MAN-ERA ELTON JOHN? YA BOY'S GARMENTS RESEMBLES A TRANSGENDER DISCO SUPERVILLAIN B. ALSO CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS ON A JOINT ON THIS ALBUM AND I WAS JUST SITTIN THERE THINKIN HOW SHE GOT FAT AND THEN I IMAGINED THESE TWO FAT MIDGETS FUCKIN IN A KIDDIE POOL FULL OF NUTELLA AND I DECIDED I DIDNT NEED THE REST OF THIS CROISSANT. THANKS FOR THAT. YO LOOK AT THE COVER OF THIS SHIT TOO B...HOW MUCH COCAINE YOU THINK CEELO DOES? I'MA SAY ABOUT A GRAM EVERY 3 HOURS DEPENDING ON THE QUALITY. THIS NIGGA PROLLY GETS OUTSTANDING COCAINE THOUGH. RICH NIGGAS ALWAYS GET HIGH QUALITY DRUGS AND THIS NIGGA IS RICH AS FUCK. I KNOW THEY PAYING HIM $OD.00 TO BE ON THAT SHOW WITH THE SPINNING CHAIRS AND THE LITTLE JEWISH DUDE FROM MAROON5. THIS ALBUM IS COOL I GUESS IF YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS MUSIC BUT WHO LIKES CHRISTMAS MUSIC BESIDES WHITE MOMS AND HOMELESS NIGGAS? HOMELESS DUDES LIKE XMAS MUSIC CUZ THEY CAN SING IT FOR CHANGE AND ENDEAR THEMSELVES TO MUTHAFUCKAS WITH DISPOSABLE INCOME. I DON'T HAVE NO DISPOSABLE ANYTHING. I BE REUSING THE PLASTIC CONTAINERS AND FLATWARE FROM THE CHINESE SPOT B. I COULD PROLLY BUILD A TOWER OUTTA THOSE SHITS AND HIDE IN IT AND CRY ABOUT HOW BROKE I AM. I'M NOT GIVING HOMELESS NIGGAS NO MONEY B. CUZ THEN I'D BE HOMELESS, AND I HATE CHRISTMAS MUSIC. THERE'S A SONG ON HERE WITH FUCKIN KERMIT THE FROG? GET THIS NIGGA OUTTA HERE.
I GIVE THIS 3 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUTTA 5 CUZ OF THE METAL DURAG VIDEO AND CEE-LO HAS GREAT TITS.
STANDOUT TRACK: "MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY" CUZ ROD STEWART IS ON THAT SHIT AND THAT STUDIO SESSION PROLLY PUT ALOT OF MONEY INTO ONE OF MY UNCLE'S POCKET.
We're pretty sure The Kid Mero hates us for making him listen to so much Christmas music, but find more of his #KNOWLEDGE on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.