It's Christmas time. Again. For one month out of the year we all have listen to a special genre of music, and that's Christmas music. Most Christmas songs suck, because writing good music is hard and Christmas songs are inherently more difficult to write because there are way more rules to them. While everyone knows that the best Christmas song is actually about Hanukkah and it's by Adam Sandler, there is a veritable shit-ton of good Christmas songs to be found within the realm of pop-punk. If I had to guess why this was, it's probably that writing a good pop-punk song involves sticking to a very specific formula, so sticking to the Christmas song formula wasn't that hard. So without further adieu, here are ten hella-good pop-punk Christmas songs. Happy holidays, you bastard.
For the record, a band is "pop-punk" if they could feasibly wear checkered Vans. This means that Crass's "Merry Crassmas" is not a pop-punk song, but any Christmas song by Lil Wayne automatically is. Lil Wayne wears checkered Vans. Therefore, Lil Wayne is pop punk. That's just logic.
Jimmy Eat World - "Last Christmas"
The Wham! version is original and way better, but if there's one thing I've learned in my 23 years on this earth it's that George Michael is not pop-punk. But Jimmy Eat World is pop-punk as fuck.
From First To Last - "Christmassacre"
It will never be not funny that Skrillex was once in a progressive hardcore band. Even though it features honest-to-gosh blast beats, this song counts as pop-punk because of the Checkered Vans Corollary that I outlined in the intro to this list.
The Ramones - "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)"
The Ramones are the one exception to the Checkered Vans Corollary, because they basically invented pop-punk. This one gets bonus points because of its music video.
No Doubt - "Oi To The World"
There was once a time when the idea of No Doubt covering The Vandals' Christmas song about rude boys was not only not laughable, but totally an awesomely great idea. Fortunately, No Doubt recorded this in 1996.
Rancid - "Christmas Eve"
This is one of those rare Christmas songs that you could listen to casually in, like, June and it wouldn't be that weird. This is because Rancid rules.
MXPX - "Christmas Day CPMV"
It's flabbergasting that MXPX has been putting out one Christmas song per year for what seems like perpetuity, yet never thought to release then in a compilation entitled MXPX-mas.
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - "Hava Nagila"
I guess the real question here is why wouldn't Me First And The Gimme Gimmes cover "Hava Nagila" to the tune of "Feliz Navidad" live? The banter after this one rules.
SKAyway - "Jingle Bells"
This was sent to me by my coworker Harry, because Harry likes really weird shit.
The Used - "Alone This Holiday"
You didn't need me to tell you that The Used recently made a quasi-dubstep album for you to know it to be true. Also, you didn't need me to tell you that Bert McCracken of The Used and Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance for you to know that to be true either.
My Chemical Romance - "All I Want For Christmas Is You"
In addition to being Bert McCracken's erstwhile makeout partner, Gerard Way's got some motherfucking pipes. It's weirdly impressive to listen to Way go from smokily soulful to strangled-cat shriek in the span of like ten seconds. All I want for Christmas is this song on a seven-inch with The Used Christmas song on the b-side.
Weezer - "The Christmas Song"
I just realized the funniest thing about Christmas songs is that I bet a lot of them are recorded in June or something. This song kind of sucks, but then again so do most other Weezer songs that were recorded after Pinkerton.
Fall Out Boy - "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out"
Fall Out Boy always had top-tier puns in their song titles, and so when it came time to write a really angry Christmas song, obviously they would give it the best title ever. This song is really dark for some reason.
Blink 182 - "Won't Be Home For Christmas"
This is probably the only song on this list that features a breakdown that Harry Fraud could feasibly sample. In twenty years, we will all use words like "seminal" to describe Blink 182's influence on dudes like Wavves, and it will make really old people sad.
You Don’t Like Childish Gambino's 'Because the Internet' Because of the Internet
Don't allow the narrative surrounding Donald Glover's musical career define the way you think.
The Real Difference Between a Mixtape and an Album
Why do rappers still about sales when they could release a mixtape, gain exposure, and cash in later?
Are the Grammys Irrelevant or Did Yeezus Actually Suck?
Breaking down Yeezy's obsession with the awards.
2013: A Year In Which Some Music Happened
A year’s art starts on Day One of the new year. If we don’t quantify it somehow by December, who are we as a people and what is our worth?
If R. Kelly Makes Us So Uncomfortable, Why Do We Keep Listening?
This is art we're talking about, and it's as real as you allow it to be.
Britney Spears: Capitalism's Last Stand
At last, the Queen has found her domain.
The Real Rick Ross Stands Up
We met with the ex-crack kingpin, who told us stories from his drug dealing days and gave us an exclusive excerpt from his upcoming autobiography.
Sorry, Dudes. The Ladies Won Punk This Year.
These are the women who kicked a particularly large amount of ass in 2013.
2013: The Most OK Year Ever
Kitty Pryde reflects on her sort of shitty, sort of amazing 2013.
Cam'ron is Still Harlem's Diplomat
We met with the Golden Boy and spoke wi