The Secret Service Was in Our Office So We Asked Them About Music

This was the only photo of the Secret Service agents we were allowed to post.

As you may have heard, Vice President Joe Biden took a tour of VICE’s Williamsburg office today. His visit filled the office with an air of pride, patriotism, and also, a whole lot of security.

It takes a small army of Secret Service agents to ensure the safety of the Vice President and while they were posted up around the office, looking stoic and official, we, being the serious investigative music journalists we are, asked two of them about music. Why? Because the country needs to know what the men and women guarding our highest elected officials are listening to in their earbuds when they take out those earpiece radio things at the end of the day. Both agents' names have been redacted. Sorry if that's confusing.

Noisey: Hi, guys.
Agent [name redacted]: [silence]

So what kind of music do you guys like?
Agent [name redacted]: We’re not permitted to talk about anything like that.

So what was your favorite album of 2014?
Agent [name redacted]: I have no idea.

Do you like the new Title Fight record? Or do you think it’s too shoegazey?
Agent [name redacted]: No idea what you’re talking about.

Do you like Makonnen?
Agent [name redacted]: Sir, please step away from this area.

He has that song “Tuesday,” you like that song?
Agent [name redacted]: Now, please.

OK but is the emo revival real?
Agent [name redacted]: We are not permitted to answer any of these questions.

Whose side are you on in the blink-182 war?
Agent [name redacted]: Sir, this is the last time I'm gonna ask you.

You into witch house at all?
Agent [name redacted]: [redacted]

Did you meet Beyoncé at the inauguration?
Agent [name redacted]: [redacted]

Health goth versus normcore. What do you go with?
Agent [name redacted]: [redacted]

OK, can I take a selfie with you guys?
Agent [name redacted]: Absolutely not.

Dan Ozzi is ██████ all of the ██████ with his ██████████ on Twitter - @danozzi