- The Future Is Now
- Secrets From The Underground
- Days Go By
- Turning Into You
- Hurting As One
- Cruising California (Bumpin' In My Trunk)
- All I Have Left Is You
- OC Guns
- Dirty Magic
- I Wanna Secret Family (With You)
- Dividing By Zero
- Slim Pickens Does The Right Thing And Rides The Bomb To Hell
PROS
—Judging from these promo shots, Dexter and Noodles have both been using the same extra-strength teeth bleaching agent. Next to each other, all those peroxide whites and solarium oranges mean they could easily be mistaken for the flag of the Orange Free State.
—Contains a re-recording of an early Ignition-era track called "Dirty Magic," which, with its wailed minor key melody and H8-my-dad sentiment, reminds you of how they were initially presented to the world: as a sort of populist 1994 methadone to grunge's smack.
—They remain the thinking man's Sum 41.
—Dexter Holland was once a Ph.D candidate in molecular biology.
—Noodles's real name is Kevin Wasserman.
CONS
—There is a song on here that even Katy Perry would probably reject as "a bit too dumb," and "a bit too much about California." That song is forthcoming single "Cruising California (Bumpin In My Trunk)." Worse yet: it is quite catchy and could easily be a hit.
—While listening to this, I have written in my notes “It's just a lot of chug-chug 'dance-fucker-dance.'” I have no idea why I wrote this. Or what it means. Make of it what you will.
VERDICT
Depending on how old you are, the Offspring are either a) a joke band, b) a band who could have been good but became a joke band when they sold out to do "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)," or c) a band who could have been good but became a joke band when they sold out to do Smash. With everything from ratty Epitaph-era punk to the sort of nonnying pop-punk that would shame Avril Lavigne, this is a record to please each of those constituencies and none. They've kept their eye for a hook sharper than most acts of their age, and this is maybe pleasantly above-par for a ninth record. But when you get to your ninth, it's hard to know what to hope for. Read this, take what polite nostalgia you can from it, and content yourself with basic reassurance of their continued existence.
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Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
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Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
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Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
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Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
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Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
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R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
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The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
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I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
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Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
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Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.
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