Annotations Of An Autopsy - "Welcome To Sludge City"
There’s a certain section of metal music that is comprised of fat guys making the sound of a pig squealing over some chugging down-tuned guitars. Annotations of an Autopsy is one of those bands, and perhaps nothing embodies their sheer putrid, mental defection and sexual violence than "Welcome To Sludge City." Opening with the refrain of "She bled from every fucking hole," it’s a sinister wall of noise with near enough no decipherable lyrics. Incomprehensible and piggish violent noise? Sounds like my ex-wife! ZING!
BEST LINE: "When I’m done with you, you won’t have a cunt left"
Necro - "Who's Your Daddy"
Technically proficient yet perhaps a little post-watershed, death rap’s king, Necro, released his filthy, sexist, and quite compelling album The Sexorcist in 2005. On it is this absolute gem, "Who’s Ya Daddy?" A lush instrumental forged from The Zombies' "Time of The Season" is (almost literally) spat on by Necro, who talks about raping a girl with a gun in her mouth whilst choking her because "it makes (you) come"... ~romance~.
BEST LINE: "Ridiculous pussy lips, I predicted you’d be addicted to my dick once you licked it."
Anal Cunt - "Haha, Your Wife Left You"
Whilst bands like Annotations... had more of a traditional structure to their songs, the late Seth Putnam and his grindcore noise band Anal Cunt’s songs were rarely more than a minute long, and were short bursts of what we imagine murderous rage sounds like. They released 11 albums of about 30-50 tracks each before Putnam’s passing, one of which was Picnic Of Love, a satirical LP of lame love songs like "I Respect Your Feelings as a Woman and a Human" and "Waterfall Wishes." I implore you to look at the Wiki of A.C’s discography—it’s funnier than those shit flowers you bought, idiot.
Cannibal Corpse - "Meat Hook Sodomy"
We could hardly leave these funsters off the list, could we? Causing a stir among concerned parents in the ‘90s, Cannibal Corpse’s graphic lyrics and ghost-train-for-serial-disemboweler-style album covers became synonymous with death metal. They were the poster boys for ultra aggressive moshpit fodder, the thick neck of singer George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher being a pillar of all things "metol \m/" Meat Hook Sodomy is a prime example of their traditional wholesome subject matter, and the lyrics read like an emo kids angry letter to GHD after his straighteners broke.
BEST LINE: "Razor sharp hooks implanted in your rectum, Splitting bodies, spilling guts on the ground."
Natasha Bedingfield: "I Wanna Have Your Babies"
What even is this? Whose idea was this? Can you imagine anything more skin-crawlingly unsexy than someone telling you they want you to infect them with your seed? Or worm their way through your canals to your precious eggs? What a horrendous prospect to drop on someone. Needless to say this was last "big" thing we in the UK heard from Bedingfield, as this pregnancy request didn’t exactly strike a chord with listeners. Does she even know how harrowing the pain of childbirth is and what the many implications of bringing a child into your life are? DOES SHE?
BEST LINE: "What if you knew what I was thinking, would it make you like WOAAAHHHHH"
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.