The Most Canadian Things About Drake Found on "Nothing Was the Same"

If the chorus of cherubs in the sky and the gentle plucking coming from the harps of golden-hearted strippers are any indication, Drake's latest album has been released. In case you weren't aware Drake is from Toronto, at least according to his birth certificate. However, he's been cheerleading for states south of the border in the hopes of attracting fans since he released So Far Gone. They say that the more nothing changes, the more Nothing Was The Same, and on his newest album Aubrey can be heard shouting out Atlanta, Memphis, Houston, Las Vegas and Miami among others. However, the realization that Drake is in fact a Canadian, as well as a Torontonian, manages to poke through from time to time on NWTS in between the saccharine melodies and fetishisation of 90s culture. Some of the album's references, outro speeches and song titles could be difficult to understand for those of you who weren't blessed with having a Prime Minister, which is why we've chosen to help you eh-nderstand with "Nothing Was The Same's Guide to the Greater Toronto Area". In keeping with the Canadian traditions of yesteryear, we've also included a haiku review for each song, which is best interpreted when huddled around an open fire in a drum circle while draped in beaver pelt.

We keep it thorough, nigga, rap like this for all of my borough niggas

Toronto doesn't have boroughs like New York or Minneapolis. We call them "municipalities" in order to improve our reading comprehension (see also: provinces & territories instead of states). The only borough would be the Scarborough, which Drake champions heavily in this album. It's not a "hood" in the American sense of the word, but it does have a history of violence and a surplus of ethnicities that make other Torontonians refer to it as such.

Owl chains like credentials, you know you see the necklace

Rumour has it that every major facility in the city has a back entrance that can only be opened with an owl shaped key. It also allows you to upsize your fries at Harveys with every order, free of charge.

This for shorty up on Glengrove who love when I catch my tempo

Glengrove Suites are a collection of properties available for short and long term lease across the city. They are more upscale than most apartments, but not upscale enough for Drake to come inside without putting on those little fabric shoe covers first.

Whitney soul sample
lays foundation for bragging
and film references

Mobbin' on the low
Fuckin' on the low
Smokin' on the low

Drake admires the mayor's ability to smoke crack and stay in office, so he wrote this chorus with Rob as his muse.

Gettin' high at the condo, that's when it all comes together

People in Toronto love condos. Partly because it rhymes, and mostly because it allows you to live in your preferred area without having to rely on a shitty subway infrastructure. In fact, there are currently 251 new condos being build in the city right now in addition to the hundreds upon hundreds that have already been developed. Look up, and you might see Drake sniffing glue through the window!

Apologies for
acting out through staying in.
Celebrate the creep

Workin' all night, traffic on the way home

If Drake was listening to 680 News on the radio, he would've received up-to-the-minute traffic reports and acted accordingly.

Say I never struggled, wasn't hungry, yeah, I doubt it

When Drake was asked about his upbringing in the GQ interview, he silenced all the rumours about his upper-middle-class background by insisting that he was simply middle-class. Yeah, he lived in an expensive neighbourhood, but it was in the most inconspicuous area of that neighborhood and his family only lived in half a duplex (so, a house). Yeah, he was a child star on television, but shooting scenes all day is hard work and since it was a Canadian TV show he wasn't even that famous.

Album outlier
created to convince us
Drake is underdog ]

Stadium packed, just glad to see the city on the map

Although Drake does in fact pack stadiums and has made Toronto a more recognized community worldwide he has never packed, let alone performed, at the biggest stadium in his hometown: The Rogers Centre. He did, however, shoot the "Headlines" video there, but it was empty at the time.

I just gave the city life, it ain't about who did it first
It's 'bout who did it right, niggas lookin' like "Preach"

Maestro Fresh Wes and Kardinal Offishall were both the original trailblazers of Toronto, but since they didn't whore themselves out to the US by establishing a foothold in specific markets they didn't do it "right".

I find peace knowin' that it's harder in the streets, I know
Luckily I didn't have to grow there I would only go there cause niggas that I know there

Most of Drake's current circle of goons grew up in Scarborough. Specifically in Parma Court, located in the western-most region of the eastern-Toronto municipality. It's also home to a very strong current rap scene which includes Roney.

People like Mazin who was a best friend to me
Start to become a distant memory

Mazin was the other "ethnic" character on Degrassi who would go on to star in the Disney movie Jump In! He'll probably be receiving more roles after Hollywood hears this album and decides to mold him into a big-screen Beanie Siegel.

The first draft of this
was just Aubrey going "wooo"
for seven minutes

Broken telephone for every single conversation
By the time it gets to you, shit switches these days

The telecommunication industry in Toronto is a virtual monopoly, leaving you with a simple choice of bad or worse. Service is spotty, calls are dropped, and you inevitably have to switch carriers every few years. Alternatively, Drake is talking about that game you played in elementary school.

A song so horrid,
credits should be checked to see
if Wale wrote it

Please note the extra "u". It's there for a reason, and that's because we still fall under the rule of the Queen and write in her English from time to time. This includes the occasional placement of a "u", the switching or "r" and "e" on words where it's the suffix (centre), and replacing the "z" (which we pronounce zed) with an "s" on words like "visualisation"

This ain't the son you raised who used to take the Acura
5 a.m. then go and shoot Degrassi up on Morningside

Morningside is a neighbourhood inside of Scarborough, and Degrassi was partly shot at the Centennial College there. It's also known as "Seven Oaks" and is bordered by a country club, so the danger speaks for itself.

Yeah, back and forth across the border line
Hate to leave the city, but I've got to do the overtime

Even though Toronto has a larger population than Chicago, it's difficult for an artist to organically "come up" here. This is due in part to a heavy immigrant population that isn't forced to assimilate and therefore retains their traditions and culture. As much as Drake's pandering to our Southern brothers may seem vapid, it's a necessary evil if your aim is to become the world's biggest rap star.

When you want career
longevity, emulate
your pastor's advice

My mother is 66 and her favorite line to hit me with is
Who the fuck wants to be 70 and alone?

This question is regularly answered at Crocodile Rock, a popular downtown nightclub that services older women looking to get their coug' on.

"Been Baka aka Not Nice from time, G. Been a East Side ting. Scarborough ting from time, G, been have up di ting dem from time, G. So I don't know what's wrong with these little wastemen out here eh? Y'all need to know yourself."

If NWTS does nothing else in this world, it will give people a chance to hear how people from Scarborough really talk. This speech comes courtesy of @BakaAKAnotnice and what you're hearing isn't played up or exaggerated in the slightest. It's a mix of West Indian dialects and while it may sound grating, it's down right nauseating when you hear it spoken by a white-bread bro trying to sound menacing.

A flashback journey
through lovers, presented by
Drake featuring Drake

Just hold on we're going home

Not many people know this, but this is the most popular line spoken to a nine-year old who has had it with the rides at Canada's Wonderland.

A ballad so sweet,
you can't help but hate yourself
for loving it so.

The song opens with the distant sound of a highlight play from either the 1992 or 1993 Toronto Blue Jay's World Series win. Although Drake would've only been 6 or 7 at the time and unable to vividly remember the only Toronto sports team to ever win anything outside the 60's, it's the only memory that Toronto sports fans can recall that doesn't force them to sigh heavily and shake their head.

Same city, same friends if you're looking
I'll be here just swanging

Toronto prides itself in providing a plethora of public parks for children to play in. Popular attractions include jungle gyms, a large plastic tube, and swings.

I take Eglinton to 401 east
And exit at Markham road in the east end
Where all the pretty girls are sleeping

As cool as it is to have specific parts of your city shouted out on a global pop record, it would be cooler if the area in question wasn't simply filled with big-box stores and parking lots. Also, the girls who I personally know living in that area would never be described as pretty by anyone other than their fathers and are the type of girls on Twitter who add "DaReal" in fron of their names because they think someone wants to assume their identity for some reason.

Exhibit Z as
to why Drake would make a bad
golfing instructor

Get what I can out the country
And then I just get on the jet and go back to the cold

Yeah, it's cold in Toronto. Actually, our climate is damn near on-par with New York city but whatever, as far as stereotypes go it could be worse.

Flaunting your self-worth
won't endear you to your peers,
although Birdman will.

Ooo, 305 to my city
I get it, I get it

I like to imagine this song is about Chris Bosh having to travel to Toronto for an away-game, stepping out onto the court to hear the taunts from the crowd, and having a moment of deep self-realization.

281 to my city, heard you had trouble at customs
Your girl got a DUI, I'll make the calls to get y'all through customs

Canada customs does not fuck around. It's hard enough to make it through if you have a criminal record and an expensive attorney who's willing to help you throw money at the problem (see: Danny Brown's never coming to Canada), but it must be damn near impossible if you're a simple stripper. Unless of course you know Drake. Speaking of which, why can't Drake just do us a solid and smuggle Danny in?

A song best enjoyed
while you're bathed in blacklight and
a nagging regret

Stuck in the house, need to get out more

When it does snow, it snows hard. Sometimes to the point where you're unable to step out the front door because the snow has managed to create another colder and whiter front door in front of your existing one.

An exceptional
melody that survives the
potluck reference

After hours at Il Mulino Or Sotto Sotto, just talking women and vino

I thought these were some expensive-ass restaurants located off the coast of Capri or some shit but they're actually both overpriced local spots. I'm going to take my $10,000 that Noisey pays me for this article and go visit both of them next weekend and pay the waiters to only address me as Aubrey Graham Esq. for the entirety of my meal.

My classmates, they went on to be chartered accountants
Or work with their parents, but thinking back on how they treated me
My high school reunion might be worth an appearance

A chartered accountant is the Canadian version of a certified public accountant; working with your parents is the Canadian version of having a career; a high school is the Canadian version of a pit of despair.

Two lukewarm rap songs
form at the spine to create
an "on-paper" jam

I don't have anything for this one, but wouldn't it be great if people became convinced that this is how Canadians spell "through", similar to how we fuck around with the spelling of "Behaviour"?

The breezy type song
that would best serve summer if
things were still the same.

Slava Pastuk is so god damn Canadian. He's on Twitter — @SlavaP

[Editor's Note: So, it is the end of Drake Week. We've had The Kid Mero and @Seinfeld2000 talk about him, made a dude listen to him for the first time, thought about his clothes, his hair, his music videos, and his sheer Canadian-ness. The week culminated in Grand Theft Aubrey, Drew Millard's profile of him. But we haven't heard the case against Drake. For this, we turn to Barry Schwartz, a man living in Long Island who once told us, "If Drake is the voice of your generation, then everything terrible people say about your generation is true." Here is why one man thinks Drake is poison.]