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The Kid Mero Vs. The Black Veil Bride Army

By The Kid Mero

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[Editor's Note: About a week ago our reviews editor THE KID MERO wrote a review of The Story of the Wild Ones, which is an album by a band called Black Veil Brides. If you're unaware, Black Veil Brides are a group of teenagers from L.A. who look like a combination of Mötley Crüe, My Chemical Romance and the Sale rack at Hot Topic circa 2009. Their music takes every terrible cliché about post-hardcore and combines it with lyrics that read like they were written by a sentient Xanga. As you can see above, they got their corpsepaint-stained hands on his review and posted a link to it on their Facebook. Thousands of screamo-enthusiast hate-clicks later, we gave Mero the funniest angry responses and asked him to make fun of them. He kindly obliged.]

 

LOL SHE SAID "APPENDING" APOCALYPSE. YOU GONNA ATTACH AN APOCALYPSE TO ME MA? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE B. *DOES A CARTWHEEL INTO A FLYING LIU KANG KICK INTO YOU SOLAR PLEXUS*

 

BRUH THIS DUDE DEREK NATHANIEL WILLIAMS MADE AN ASTOUNDINGLY RIDICULOUS YOUTUBE VIDEO COMIN AT MY NECK WITH THE TYPE OF VITRIOL THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM A DUDE WHO MASTURBATES UNTIL HE INJURES HIMSELF B. THE HIGHLIGHTS (LOWLIGHTS) WAS THIS FRAIL ANIME NERD NIGGA REMOVING HIS SHIRT AND CALLING ME "MERO STREEP." LOOK AT THIS DUDE THOUGH. HE DEFINITELY ORDERS NINJA STARS FROM THE BACK OF MAXIM OR SOME SHIT AND THROWS THEM SHITS AT THE TREE IN HIS BACKYARD WILL HE SAYS SHIT LIKE "SHINJOKU! YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT MY KAMEHA CHIN SHUKU!! NARUTOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" *AWKWARD JUMP KICK*

 

MY REVIEW RUINED YOUR NIGHT?? YOU KNOW WHAT A SUCKER YOU GOTTA BE TO GET MAD WHEN SOMEONE DISSES AN ARTIST YOU LIKE? PRODIGY IS MY FAVORITE RAPPER EVER AND YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THAT NIGGA GOT PUNCHED IN THE FACIAL? OD TIMES. I WILL NOT REFUTE THIS AND IF A NIGGA WROTE AN ARTICLE CALLED "P GOT DUFFED OUT OD TIMES" I WOULD PROLLY CHUCKLE AND NOT BE UPSET. I LIKE WHEN WHITE GIRLS SAY NIGGA THOUGH IT'S ENDEARING.

 

IT'S IRONICAL THAT YOU CALLIN ME A LONELY VIRGIN WHEN YOUR FAVORITE BAND CD IS IN THE "LONELY VIRGIN" SECTION OF YOUR LOCAL RECORD STORE. I WISH I LIVED IN MY MOM'S BASEMENT CUZ THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY RENT AND DRIVE AROUND IN CIRCLES TO FIND A PARKING SPOT & SHIT LIKE THAT. ALSO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO HEAR THE OLD PUERTO RICAN HOOKER DOWNSTAIRS PRETENDING TO ENJOY BEING PIPED BY OLD MEN WITH WRINKLY DILZES.

 

GOOD LOOKS MY NIGGA I COULD RIP ON THESE NIGGAS FOR DAYS B THEY LOOK LIKE WHAT 11 YEAR OLDS THINK IS "BADASS" AND THAT IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL EVER USE THAT WORD.

 

THE KID MERO runs our Reviews section and never thought he would make the Internet mad like this. He's on Twitter, too - @THEKIDMERO

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