The author (wearing a shirt) and some hot bros / All photos by Angel Espinoza, Erin Bates, and Jennica AbramsLast year, when I first brought you the hottest bros at Coachella, I had no trouble breezing through a couple parties that had plenty of hot ass bros to choose from. This was because I found a majority of them at Lacoste’s annual Coachella party, which has always set the bar for the most star-studded, best-looking crowd. I take it that sales of expensive polo shirts with crocodile logos on them must be way down since the Lacoste party didn’t happen this year. Consequently, I had to go to twice as many parties as last year—getting denied from two Tinder parties where I know I would have scored—and even break into the festival in order to find viable contenders. It wasn’t easy, but here they are, the hottest bros of Coachella 2015:KATY PERRY’S GAY STYLIST BRO A.K.A. JOHNNY WUJEKSpotted at: Neon Carnival
I’ll forgive you for all of Katy’s corny looks if you’ll just be my sugar daddy. I can stand the trucker hats, and that lisp is cute in like a Grimes way.THE FASHEN BROSpotted at: The DFM House
We will hook up, and I will steal all your clothes. I hope you have that kilt in different colors and own the latest KTZ.THE EURO BRODELSSpotted at: Neon Carnival
Hair perfectly coiffed and faces cut from marble: I’m too hideous for you, but we make this work.THE AM APPY BRODELSpotted at: The Retreat
A fine American specimen. I want to lie in your facial hair forever.Continued below…ANTONIO THE BROLOMBRIAN WAIT STAFFERSpotted at: Coach Backstage
Imported from the coast of Colombia, Antonio fed me endless platters of burrata bruschetta and truffle burger sliders. I licked every morsel from his fingers as he whispered sweet Spanish nothings in my ear.THE PRO SURFER BRO AKA LUKE DAVIS THE GREYSpotted at: Neon Carnival
You’re good at riding waves, and I’m good at riding you. We’re perfect for each other.THE AUSSIE BROS A.K.A. DARCY DINEEN AND FRIENDSSpotted at: The Festival, during Gesaffelstein
Surfer/Skater/Photographer/InstagramCeleb/BAETHE EDM TRAP BROSpotted at: LED Day Club during Flosstradamus
Fuck me with nothing but your bucket hat on.THE LOWKEY TIMID BROSpotted at: LED Day Club during Flosstradamus
We all need a sensitive thug in our lives.THE WHOLESOME FRAT BROSpotted at: LED Day Club during Flosstradamus
You have a kind face—the kind I’d like to cum on.Jazper Abellera is literally risking his life to bring you Coachella coverage. Follow him on Twitter.
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I’ll forgive you for all of Katy’s corny looks if you’ll just be my sugar daddy. I can stand the trucker hats, and that lisp is cute in like a Grimes way.THE FASHEN BROSpotted at: The DFM House
We will hook up, and I will steal all your clothes. I hope you have that kilt in different colors and own the latest KTZ.THE EURO BRODELSSpotted at: Neon Carnival
Hair perfectly coiffed and faces cut from marble: I’m too hideous for you, but we make this work.THE AM APPY BRODELSpotted at: The Retreat
A fine American specimen. I want to lie in your facial hair forever.Continued below…ANTONIO THE BROLOMBRIAN WAIT STAFFERSpotted at: Coach Backstage
Imported from the coast of Colombia, Antonio fed me endless platters of burrata bruschetta and truffle burger sliders. I licked every morsel from his fingers as he whispered sweet Spanish nothings in my ear.THE PRO SURFER BRO AKA LUKE DAVIS THE GREYSpotted at: Neon Carnival
You’re good at riding waves, and I’m good at riding you. We’re perfect for each other.THE AUSSIE BROS A.K.A. DARCY DINEEN AND FRIENDSSpotted at: The Festival, during Gesaffelstein
Surfer/Skater/Photographer/InstagramCeleb/BAETHE EDM TRAP BROSpotted at: LED Day Club during Flosstradamus
Fuck me with nothing but your bucket hat on.THE LOWKEY TIMID BROSpotted at: LED Day Club during Flosstradamus
We all need a sensitive thug in our lives.THE WHOLESOME FRAT BROSpotted at: LED Day Club during Flosstradamus
You have a kind face—the kind I’d like to cum on.Jazper Abellera is literally risking his life to bring you Coachella coverage. Follow him on Twitter.