The Flaming Lips' One More Robot Remix Album Made My Dick Turn Into A DigimonBy The Kid Mero
THIS IS WHITE PEOPLE THAT LOVE JAPAN MUSIC B. I ONLY HAD TO LISTEN TO 15 SECONDS OF THIS TO REALIZE THAT. THESE NIGGAS ARE DOING ACOUSTIC NINTENDO MUSIC B. NIGGAS ARE SINGING ABOUT FUCKIN ROBOTS IN THE ASS OR SOME SHIT. I THINK ITS A SONG ON HERE ABOUT THIS NIGGA'S GIRLFRIEND FIGHTING ROBOTS. YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND MY NIGGA? BECAUSE YOU WROTE A SONG ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND FIGHTING ROBOTS. THAT'S LIKE ME WRITING A SONG ABOUT MY WIFE BEING COOL, YOU'D BE LIKE "PSH YEAH RIGHT YOU AIN'T GOT NO WIFE NIGGA BECAUSE WIVES ARE NOT COOL" THIS IS MUSIC FOR A MOVIE WHERE A DUDE FALLS IN LOVE WITH A GIRL AND HAS TO FIGHT ALL HER BOYFRIENDS BUT HER BOYFRIENDS ARE ALL SUPERPOWERED ROBOTS OR MUTANTS OR SOME SHIT...OH SHIT THIS ACNE SCARRED ASIAN DUDE IN A YUGI OH SHIRT I WORK WITH JUST INFORMED ME THAT THAT'S A REAL MOVIE. SEE? ONCE AGAIN YOU NIGGAS ARE GETTING SPECIFICALLY FOCUSED OUTSTANDING CURATION (I HOPE THATS A REAL WORD MY INTERNET DONT WORK I CAN'T GOOGLE IT) DARTS FOR FREE. YO I WROTE A "WHITE NIGGA HALL OF FAME" POST ON VICTORY LIGHT AND THOM YORKE IS IN THE WNHOF AND THIS IS WHY. HIS INFLUENCE ON THESE NIGGAS IS CLEAR NAHMEAN THEY ARE BREATHING AND SIGHING ALL OVER THIS SHIT HERE B. NIGGAS USING RAINDROPS AS AN INSTRUMENT MY GUY. RAINDROPS. THAT'S NOT THE MOST PUSSY SHIT EVER? IF YOU CRY EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU GET INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND ATTEND COSPLAY EVENTS THIS IS YOUR SHIT RIGHT HERE.
I GIVE THIS SHIT 0 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUTTA 5 BECAUSE I LISTENED TO THIS WHOLE SHIT AND MY DICK TURNED INTO A DIGIMON.
STANDOUT TRACK: "SUNSHIP BALLOONS" BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST PUSSY SONG TITLE I EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT THERES SEVERAL OTHER CONTENDERS ON THIS ALBUM LIKE "I'M A FLY IN A SUNBEAM."
The Kid Mero is a Bronx-based writer and comedian specializing in #KNOWLEDGEDARTS and #COKEDREAMS. He sent us an all-caps email threatening to "GENTLY KARATE CHOP [US] IN THE BREAST" if we changed any part of his reviews. Follow him on Twitter--@THEKIDMERO.
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.