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Gather Up the Chaps, It’s a New Song from The Falcon (Featuring Members of The Lawrence Arms, Alkaline Trio, and The Loved Ones)

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By Dan Ozzi

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Photo: Marc Gärtner

A Lawrence Arm, a Loved One, and an Alkaline Single walk into a studio. It sounds like the setup of a bad punk joke, and maybe it is.

The Falcon, the long-running but remarkably unprolific brainchild of the Lawrence Arms’ Brendan Kelly, has been in hibernation for a while, not spotted in the wild since the release of their sole full-length album, 2006’s Unicornography, Red Scare Industry’s all-time bestselling record. On it, Kelly employed the use of Alkaline Trio’s Dan Andriano and fellow brother in Arm Neil Hennessey, who enabled him in letting his id run wild, which, if you’ve ever seen Kelly perform, read one of his tweets, or talked to him for more than five seconds at a urinal, you already know how remarkably strange that can get.

Now, ten years later, The Falcon is ready to rise again with the release of Gather Up the Chaps. Hennessey has returned for the sophomore album. Andriano is back as well, and his imprint is felt even more this time around, especially on songs like “You Dumb Dildos,” where he leads on vocal duties. Some new blood has been added to the mix as well with The Loved Ones’ Dave Hause, who also gets prominent mic time on the song “If Dave Did It.”

While Gather Up the Chaps has the feel of a punk supergroup mixtape with all of these familiar voices and styles thrown in, at its heart, it is still distinctly a Brendan Kelly joint. “It’s a trip into Brendan Kelly’s brain which is, um, it’s a really weird place to be,” Hause said of making the album recentlyThat should be obvious right from the cover, a nod to Minor Threat and Rancid’s iconic head-in-hands shots done in the style of a leather daddy. 

There are some upbeat rhythms on the album that are reminiscent of Kelly and Andriano’s time together in the ska band Slapstick, some balls-out rock bangers, and even a few diss tracks aimed at fellow musicians, because what would a good collaboration be without some shit-talk?

On “Hasselhoff Cheeseburger,” which you can listen to below, Kelly tests out his chops as a fast-paced hip-hop emcee, seeing how quickly he can spit the snarky wit of his rhymes out of his dick-joke-loving head. There is a lot going on in Gather Up the Chaps, and it will require multiple listens to dissect the layers and the humor behind it. If you want to be in on the joke, that is. 

Gather Up the Chaps is out via Red Scare on March 18. Additionally, “Hasselhoff Cheeseburger” is available as a flexi single from New Noise Magazine. Catch The Falcon on tour. Dates below.

3/31 - Boston, MA @ Middle East (with The Scandals, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/1 - Philadelphia, PA @ Milkboy (with The Scandals, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/2 - Long Branch, NJ @ Brighton Bar (with The Scandals, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/3 - New York City, NY @ Shea Stadium (with The Scandals, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/4 - Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar (with Worriers, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/5 - Pittsburgh, PA @ Smiling Moose (with Worriers, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/6 - Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop (with Worriers, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/7 - Detroit, MI @ Majestic Cafe (with Worriers, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/8 - Chicago, IL @ Double Door (with Worriers, The Lippies, local TBA)
4/9 - St. Louis, MO @ Blueberry Hill (with Worriers, The Lippies, local TBA)

Oh, and let us never forget the glorious video of the song's namesake...

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