The Best Things Kanye West Is Impatiently Waiting ForBy Drew Millard
I love Kanye West's new album Yeezus, mainly because I still don't quite understand it. It's one of those endlessly dense records where you think about the reason every single sound you hear on the it, especially given that Rick Rubin was tasked with taking every sound out of the album that he possibly could. But despite all of its gravitas and stark politicisms on the part of West, there's still an element of lighthearted corniness to Kanye's lyrics that makes him so damn charming. One of the best examples of this smart-dumb lyricism is in "I am a God," in which Kanye raps, "I am a god/ Hurry up with my damn massage/ Hurry up with my damn ménage/ Get the Porsche out the damn garage," later doing a variation of his joke when he says, "In a French-ass restaurant/ Hurry up with my damn croissants." Earlier today, I started tweeting riffs on these lines, then people started responding to me, and collectively, we took this to the absolute absurd edge of jokedom. Because I was terrified that someone will steal my Twitter meme and use it for their own evil meme means, I made a post about the best things Kanye West is anxiously waiting for.
kanye west goes to prom "hurry up with my damn corsage"— JODY EYEROLLER (@drewmillard) June 17, 2013
kanye west goes to bedford cheese shop "hurry up with my damn fromage"— JODY EYEROLLER (@drewmillard) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard Kanye West goes to the ER "Hurry up in this damn triage."— Sasha Hecht (@sashahecht) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard Kanye to HBO in like 2007 "Hurry up with my Entourage."— Sasha Hecht (@sashahecht) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard General Kanye West scolding his artillerymen, "Hurry up with my damn barrage"— Craig Plazure (@CraigPlazure) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard Kanye at a horse show "hurry up with the damn dressage"— WW2 (@LoneXI) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard kanye west on extreme makeover home edition "hurry up with this damn garage"— LUKAACH (@lucheezy) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard kanye west, near death in the desert screams "hurry up with my damn mirage"— Desus (@desusnice) June 17, 2013
kanye west outsourcing all of his minor emotions to travis scott "hurry up with my damn umbrage"— JODY EYEROLLER (@drewmillard) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard kanye west at a fortune teller "hurry up with my damn presage"— Jeremy D. Larson (@jeremydlarson) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard Kanye West in a crowded subway car: "Hurry up with my damn frottage"— Philip Marschall (@philipmarschall) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard kanye west at his statue-unveiling "hurry up with my damn homage"— Kevin Lincoln (@KTLincoln) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard KANYE WEST FINANCIAL ADVISOR "HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN AGIOTAGE"— The Kid Mero (@THEKIDMERO) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard KANYE DUCK HUNTING IN A RED PEA COAT AND FAILING - "HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CAMOUFLAGE"— The Kid Mero (@THEKIDMERO) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard Kanye getting custom painting done by Picasso "hurry up with my damn collage"— ernest baker (@ernestbaker_) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard Kanye accidentally buying first Van Wilder DVD "hurry up with this damn Rise of Taj"— Andy Verderosa (@andyverderosa) June 17, 2013
@drewmillard kanye west at the stationery store "hurry up with my decoupage"— Luis Paez-Pumar (@paezpumarL) June 17, 2013
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