The Best HipHopDX Headlines of the Past Week, Rated in Beats by Dre (TM) Headphones

HipHopDX is not a terrible website but they do have a thing for news, gossip and other non-items about rappers of, shall we say, varying popularity. Rated on a scale of 1 to 5 pairs of BEATS BY DRE (TM) HEADPHONES on how confused I am by why anyone would ever read what lurks behind that headline.

J. Cole Says Joint Project With Kendrick Lamar Is "Mad Competitive"

What does this mean? "Mad competitive" is like something a college football analysts says about an NBA game when a SportsCenter segue awkwardly makes them talk about it.

J. Cole's Collaborative Album With Kendrick Lamar "Still Happening"

MAD still happening.

J. Cole Explains "Born Sinner" Delay & Talks Relationship With Label

This makes J. Cole's career sound like a marriage on Men Of A Certain Age.

Joe Budden Says He Doesn't Do Drugs, Just Had "Drug-Induced Summer"

I don't think Buddens knows what "drug-induced" means. Like had he not taken drugs it would not have been summer for him? If he doesn't do drugs does that mean his summer didn't really happen? JOE WE GOT AN ENTIRE SUMMER OF STRUGGLE TWEETS THAT SAY OTHERWISE.

Pusha T Is "Ready" For Drake Beef

How do you prep for beef with Drake? Did Pusha spend a week straight "watching film" aka reruns of Degrassi? Did he spend a week cooking dinner at home and going hardbody on some rom-coms on Netflix with his favorite jumpoffs? Strange Brew in the whip? Actually writing Drake jokes is probably good prep for beef with Drake.

Wyclef Jean Disagrees With Lil Wayne's "New 'Pac" Statement

It's not just an old rapper, it's an old rapper commenting on something "controversial" a rapidly-aging rapper said about a dead rapper. Maybe Weezy and Clef can have a skateboard/American flag Ducatti race to squash their beef.

Universal Zulu Nation Pens Open Letter To WorldStarHipHop CEO

Calling the Zulu Nation "Universal" is like calling the Super Bowl champ the "World Champion of Football." I hope there is a Deep Space Nine episode about the Zulu Nation. Bambaataa looks more like a Babylon 5 alien though. And for good measure: a joke about Worf beating someone's ass on WorldStar.

Ab-Soul Says He's "Heavily Inspired" By Kendrick Lamar

MAD inspired.

We should talk more about how weird TDE is and what it says that Kendrick is the most normal dude in the crew. If Ab hasn't already done a 6 minute track about Zoroastrianism, he will soon (word to Pep Love). That Cali weed is no joke.

Joey Bada$$ Talks Ecko Creative Director Gig, Being Inspired By Mark Ecko

Joey was perfect for this gig because he's not old enough to remember when Ecko was a thing, let alone its precipitous decline.

Skinny Friedman understands the essense of real hip-hop is the speed with which you post a track on the Internet. He's on Twitter - @skinny412