Pizza, Suicide Doors, and Ninja Turtles Are in the “Shell Shocked” Video by Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, Kill the Noise, and Madsonik

On August 8th, the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie will be released in theaters. Any true Ninja Turtle head will know that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze featured a climactic scene in which Vanilla Ice performed a song called “Go Ninja Go Ninja Go.” This song was not very good. But that very specific moment in time set a precedent for future rap songs in future Ninja Turtles movies, which has led us to the above lyric video for “Shell Shocked,” by Taylor Gang members Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign, with production by Kill the Noise and Madsonik. The video, done by the net artist PizzaSlime, is literally the perfect complement to the track. You’ll see.

More importantly, which of the artists involved with “Shell Shocked” are which Ninja Turtle? Ty Dolla $ign is Leonardo, the versatile leader, capable of producing, writing, and singing smash records for himself and others, and then cutting something in half with a katana. Wiz, the good-natured stoner goofball, is Michelangelo—is there any weapon that could be characterized as a “stoner weapon” other than a pair of nunchucks? Kill the Noise is Donatello, strategizing, working behind the scenes to ensure the success of both the mission and the thundering trap drums. And Juicy J, who managed to turn every bit of Ninja Turtles imagery into a dirty double entendre in the span of sixteen bars, is Raphael, aka “the edgy one.”

Experience “Shell Shocked” in all its glory above, watch the TMNT trailer below, and if you’re so inclined, purchase it on iTunes here.

@drewmillard