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Music

Squareheaded Ballbag Sean Hannity Asks: Why Can You Buy Rap Albums, but Not the Confederate Flag?

"Can I download Fiddy Cent on Amazon?"

Sean Hannity, a host at Fox News, America’s most trusted and reliable source for hip-hop discourse, has a question: Why can you buy rap albums, but not the Confederate flag?

Hannity, whose hairline and eyebrows connect, posed this thought-provoking, not-at-all false equivalency of a question yesterday on his radio show, Horseshit for Old White Folks to Be Scared of in the Morning, with Sean Hannity.

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“Some retailers, Sears, Walmart, Amazon, eBay, and the rest of the retailers in the last 24 hours have announced that they intend to discontinue sales of the Confederate flag. I have a question: Can you still buy a Jay Z CD at Walmart? Does the music department at Sears have any Ludacris albums? Can I download”—HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE TO HEAR HIS PRONOUNCIATION OF THIS ONE—“Fiddy Cent on Amazon? Can I do that? Can I get some Snoop Dogg on eBay? Now why do I say that?

Yes, Sean, why do you say that? We could not be more curious. Go on…

“Because a lot of music by those artists are chock full of the n-word and the b-word, and the h-word.”

Wait. The n-word, OK we know what that is. The b-word, yeah, got it. The h-word, what the fuck is the h-word, Sean?

Anyway, after bestowing onto the world this groundbreaking piece of thoughtshit, he went on to bloviate about Jay Z and Beyoncé being President Barack (Hussein) Obama’s guests at the White House. He also threw into this three-minute rant Prince, who Hannity possibly believes is a rapper?:

“Prince performed [at the White House] last weekend or the weekend before. I don’t know if he uses any of that language in his music, I have no idea. I’m not a big Prince fan. I don’t get it, frankly. I listen to his music and say, ‘that’s it?’ I don’t get it.”

Yeah, not really a Prince fan. Hannity is more a fan of Ted Nugent, a musician who has referred to Hillary Clinton as a “worthless bitch” and a “toxic cunt.”

Listen to the segment below which is three minutes of head-scratching what-the-fuckery by a guy who we wouldn't be surprised to learn jerks off to a Photoshopped picture of him riding a horse with Ronald Reagan while wrapped in the Stars and Bars. We have to say though, as gifted as Hannity is about talking out of his squareheaded ass, he’ll never top his co-worker, Bill O’Reilly, an unrivaled black belt about knowing dick about hip-hop.