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Music

These = Shit: A Look Back At The Days Of Homemade Slipknot Costumes

Dressing up to scare your mom was big in the noughties.

Metal has always been a genre that inspires fierce dedication, inspiring young men across the world to do everything from getting an "RIP Dimebag" sticker for their pickup, to burning churches. But even amongst the obsessive fans, Slipknot fans, or "maggots" (as they and nobody else call them) stuck out from the crowd. They were a loyal bunch, and although their fandom is waning slightly in the post-Skrillex era (a man who doesn't need a mask to scare the intelligenisa shitless), there are still online communities debating lyrical interpretations of "Psychosocial." And one of the Maggots' favorite ways to bond with each other was through the ancient art of mask-making. While you've gotta congratulate them on their commitment, and while it's certainly better than making Odd Future tees with online template, they're not exactly a fleet of Jim Hensons.

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Here are my favorites.

Maggot Craft #1

I can see our man was going for a kind of Scarecrow-in-Batman-Begins look with the burlap sack mask, but the flat cap? It makes him look like a disfigured 1970's dustman tragically trying to hide away from the gawping housewives on his route. Aesthetic-wise, it's somewhere between The Elephant Man and Steptoe & Son.

Maggot Craft #2 The above photo is taken from something called "The Maggot March," which took place in New York some time in that vast cultural gap between the release of the Slim Shady LP and the Tupac Hologram. I think they call it "the noughties." Details are sketchy, and I can't seem to find out exactly what they were marching about (Looser circle pit regulations? The right to sniff dead crows on stage?) or whether or not their demands were met. So the photographic evidence is all we have to go on. The masks range in quality from the convincing to the slapdash, but it's the accompanying outfits that really let the side down. Guys, it's very hard to look demonic when you're dressed like Funky Bunch-era Mark Wahlberg. I wonder what they do these days. Probably Obama speechwriters or dubstep DJs.

Maggot Craft #3

Another one from the Maggot March here, and by this point they seem to have made it to some trendy Lower East Side/Williamsburg/wherever-was-cool-in-2003 part of New York. I can only imagine a bunch of terrified AV Club bloggers and members of The Walkmen peering out their windows at this grim vision of the Midwest standing before them. It's the American cultural equivalent when people with The Plague used to walk through Medieval towns to show them the horrors of the disease.

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In all fairness, the maggot on the right's mask is pretty good. It actually looks like s/he's had a pioneering face transplant rather than just bought it in a shop. Not sure about the pedal pushers though.

Maggot Craft #4 A smorgasboard of creative lethargy here. We've got one man who's just attached some liquorice to a a lacrosse goalie's mask, a girl in pathetic Halloween make-up, Buckethead, a $14 Scream marketing tool, and our man on the left, who's either been in a cartoon explosion, or has just sort of worn black-face…

Maggot Craft #5 The mask isn't too bad here. It's got a kind of Hellraiser III shtick going on, but the outfit isn't very Slipknot. It's too seperate, too zen. It's the kind of thing that an unorthdox hippy businessman might wear when he's working from home. It's a total mistep; Slipknot don't do Eastern tranquility, they do Western chaos. This makes him look more like a suburban Tai Chi instructor than a Noise Warrior. It's more "People = Beautiful and unique creatures that deserve to be treasured" than "People = Shit." Props to this guy to limiting his breathing holes to one nostril, but it's the hair that's really killing his vibe--it's just too nice, he's taken far too much time on it. It's the kind of hairstyle you're more likely to see on a Croatian footballer or an affable waiter than a harbinger of fratboy destruction.

What are those things on his legs? Why is he in the middle of a sandstorm? I'm confused, he's confused, but, I think it's fair to say that he's more appropriately kitted out for fire juggling at Burning Man rather than fighting security guards at Ozzfest. Stilts aren't really conducive to slam-dancing, either.

What is it about Maggots and depriving themselves of their senses? First a man who can barely breathe, and now a man who can't see. I guess it's some kind of self-flaggelation thing, showing the lengths you will go to for the Gods of Nu-Metal. He might have a mean Snakebite gut, but that mask has clearly been fashioned from a toilet roll holder prized from a particuarly rustic pub loo. And there's nothing less metal than toilet roll. Also, who frames a picture of a bottle of Bud over their windows? Bud is probably what Creed or Dave Matthews Band has on their rider, the 'Knot would no doubt head straight for the Jaeger. Credit where credit's due though, the snake is pretty on-point.