Screw Bitcoin and Dogecoin, There’s a Kanye West Themed Cryptocurrency On The Way
Cryptocurrency - the namesake given to online-based forms of payment like Bitcoin - had a 2013 that went up and down more vigorously than Justin Bieber riding cowgirl in a South American brothel. This was the year Bitcoin went beyond the bedrooms of Silk Road proficient teenagers and into the dining-room discussions of proper, grown adult drug-addicts. The value of one single Bitcoin rose from under $100 to almost $1000, before losing 50% of its worth after the Chinese government effectively outlawed it.
Bitcoin isn’t the only hard-to-get-your-head-around currency out there. At least five other notable cryptocurrencies exist: Ripple, Litecoin, Peercoin and Namecoin all rep non-tangible cash flow. And then there’s Dogecoin, the hyper-extension of an internet meme made into a decentralised currency ruled by a stupid dog.
Since a Shiba with a limited vocabulary can have their own a coin, the opportunities for variations are as endless and ludicrous as the idea of Lil Wayne opening his own theme park. The newest iteration, CoinYe West, is evident of how the lunacy can stretch.
Launching January 11 with the catchphrase “WE AIN'T MININ', WE PICKIN'”, the system promises “no premine, no screwed up fake "fair" launches, shyster devs, muted channels, and f**ked up wallets”. Just like Kanye West, CoinYe West won’t be taking any shit.
Alongside the website design, there are some more technical nods to Kanye’s supposed illuminati connections. The maximum number of coins that can ever be mined in the currency is 66,666,666,666.
It seems members of the influential forum Bitcointalk.org, a place where discussion of online currencies often leads to their fluctuating prices, aren’t so sure.
Pitstop notes, “U must be F***ing Joking? Naming a coin after an illuminati wanna-be because you can include the word coin in the name!! Kinda goes against what Alt's [alternative currencies] are about!!”
While noobyonekenobi quickly adheres to Godwin’s Law offering, “Whats next HitlerCoin(HTC)?” before adding “sounds good though lol”.
The currency is not co-signed by Kanye but it seems the CoinYe West founders are seeking his approval. They tweeted at him last week, clearly unaware of the omnipresent amount of mentions a self-proclaimed God receives.
I wanted to find out more, so I contacted the creators of CoinYe West. They didn’t want to talk on the phone because they “want to stay sorta anonymous in case kanye gets pissed off”.
Noisey: Why are you scared of Kanye?
Coinye: We're really not sure how Kanye is gonna react to this. We hope he loves it, but if he doesn't, he really isn't someone we want to piss off.
I see, so what’s the benefit of creating another cryptocurrency? There’s already quite a few.
Coinye West is a cryptocurrency for the masses. Bitcoin is for hardcore money-hoarders, and Dogecoin was more for the internet-meme crowds.
What’s your goal?
Our goal with Coinye West is to make it easier for people to use cryptocurrency. Right now, it's kind of a dark art for people to mine coins. We plan on releasing a front end to the "mining" programs called CoinyeMiner. It will make things a lot more simple and people will be able to make their own coins. We're working round-the-clock to get everything going as smoothly as possible.
In lay-mans terms, how does mining work?
Basically, people’s computers try and figure out math problems. Hundreds of them work together and when there’s a payout, about half a million coins get released from a block, and they get shared between everyone who helped open them. They then get paid out to a wallet, which is a software that people will keep on their computer. They can send or receive coins from there, sorta like Paypal.
Why Kanye? Doesn’t Drake or Lil B deserve a crypto?
We chose to represent Kanye because he is and always has been a trendsetter, and he's always keeping things unique. I can picture a future where Coinye is used to buy concert tickets, with cryptographically verified virtual tickets, and other ideas I can't give away just yet.
That sounds really interesting. What else are the benefits?
Coinye will also give people a chance to share. We will be giving away Coinye West to users upon launch. It will get people who are on the fence interested and help them to start using the currency, and we hope they'll share it with their friends, too.
Do you want Kanye to co-sign Coinye West? How many coins would you gift him for a name-check in a song?
We'd love if Kanye named dropped Coinye. I think he's gonna love that there’s a CURRENCY named in his honor. We don't want to pay him off to name check us, but it'd be sick if he does so. In-fact, we're making an open invitation to Kanye: Get hold of us at coinyewest.com and we'll send you 100,000 COINYE on launch. A hundred thousand. Bitcoin started small too, and now look where it's at.
Kanye, ARE YOU READING? I read a NY Times Op-Ed that said: "I’m skeptical. I don’t think we’ll all be paying in bitcoin for tickets to Kanye West’s 2024 presidential victory tour." - do you agree?
F that. I think Kanye's got a shot at the presidency, and we'll fund it with COINYE.
They then signed off their email with the words IN YEEZUS WE TRUST.
Follow Ryan on Twitter: @RyanBassil
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