Reviews

Roc Marciano's "Reloaded" Is Very Valuable Intense Shit

By The Kid Mero

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[Ed. Note: The Kid Mero is a Bronx-based writer and comedian specializing in #KNOWLEDGEDARTS and #COKEDREAMS. Most importantly, he's our new Reviews Editor over at Noisey. He sent us an all-caps email threatening to "GENTLY KARATE CHOP [US] IN THE BREAST" if we changed any part of his reviews, so we'll be running them unedited on a daily basis from here on out.]

I FUCKS WITH THIS SHIT B. I KNOW SOME OF YALL ARE LIKE "YOU'RE BLACK NIGGER DUH YOU LIKE FUCKING RAP MUSIC" AND YOU SAY "MUSIC" WITH AIR QUOTES LIKE A LIL BITCH *FLINCHES AT YOU IN ORDER TO STARTLE YOU* WELL NO I DO NOT ENJOY ALL RAP MUSIC AND I ALSO ENJOY VARIOUS GENRES OF MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENTS AIGHT SO FALL THE FUCK BACK BEFORE I JUMP OFF THE TOP ROPE AND KARATE KICK YOU IN THE FUCKIN SOLAR PLEXUS.

BRUH THIS NIGGA GOT LIKE 2 FEATURES AND ONE OF THEM IS A GUY NAMED "KNOWLEDGE PIRATE" WHICH IS THE BEST FUCKIN RAP NAME I EVER HEARD EVER. SHIT IS THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF "KOSHA DILLZ" IN TERMS OF BEST RAP NAMES TO HAVE. (THATS REALLY A REAL RAPPER, GOOGLE IT. OR YAHOO IT IF YOU'RE 63 YEARS OLD.) ROC FLOW IS THE GOOD KINDA AWKWARD AND THE NIGGA HAS SO MANY PRODIGY TYPE WILD LINES THAT THIS WILL LAST YOU THROUGH SEVERAL BLUNTS. ACTUALLY THE BEST THING TO DO TO THIS SHIT IS DRIVE A FULL SIZE EUROPEAN SEDAN AROUND WHILE YOU SMOKE WEED AND LOOK AT PASSERBY AS IF YOU WISH THEM HARM.

THE BEATS ON THIS SHIT IS KINDA CRAZY TOO IT'S LIKE LO-FI RZA ALCHEMIST TYPE SHIT VERY VALUABLE INTENSE SHIT NAHMEAN?

I GIVE THIS 5 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 6 PROLLY WOULDA GAVE IT 6 BUT ONE OF MY HEADPHONES IS BROKEN

STANDOUT TRACK: "DEATH PARADE" ANY SONG CALLED "DEATH PARADE" IS GONNA BE MY FAVORITE SONG ON ANY ALBUM.

@THEKIDMERO

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