This isn't technically "Music News" or whatever, but it's Friday evening and this might just be the greatest picture of all time. I found this image on Rick Ross's perennially-stellar Instagram account. They appear to be dining at a Miami Wingstop. Wherever they are, I am obsessed with this image.
This photograph contains multitudes. What are they drinking? Strawberry Fanta? Lean? Why does DJ Khaled look so upset? Who took the picture? Wale, right? Gotta be Wale. And who's the third dude? Why's there just a semi-smoked cigar on the table? How are those teenagers in the background not freaking out? If they're drinking champagne, why are they just drinking one bottle? Does Rick Ross really need those glasses?
The more you stare, it becomes even more vexing. Are those customized Maybach Music Group cups? Those are definitely customized Maybach Music Group cups. Rick Ross is wearing Champion sweatpants; that goes against my entire understanding of his sartorial tendencies. If I had to guess, the plastic tablecloth says "Rick Ross" on the side, because there's a line that could be an I and like half a C and something that is vaguely K-esque there.
And the cutouts.
Rick Ross must take those with him everywhere, right? The answer is obviously yes.
To summarize: Rick Ross, wearing Champion-brand sweatpants, eating—nay, feasting—at a Wingstop that he owns with DJ Khaled, at a table with his name on it, with two cardboard cutouts of his own visage in the background. This is the very image of American Royalty in 2013, and this knowledge makes me happier to be living in this than I have ever been before.
Drew Millard lives on the Internet and will prove it to you on Twitter - @drewmillard
Keep Up With Our SXSW 2014 Coverage Here
Hopefully, we don't die.
The Score: Mapping the Music and Style of 'That Thing You Do!'
Sixties chic via the 90s and that one song over and over and over.
We're Premiering Big K.R.I.T.'s "Steps" Documentary & a New Song Feat. Big SANT & Smoke DZA
#weekofKRIT Is Almost Over.
Kanye West and Crustpunk: Together at Last
It's the Leftöver Crack/Kanye mashup you've been waiting for.
Welcome to Koch Boyz, Where We Document What French Montana and the Koch Brothers Are Up To
Welcome to Koch Boyz, a column dedicated to any time the Koch Brothers and French Montana do anything within a few days of each other.
Watch Mark McGuire's Pretty Personal Video for "The Human Condition"
Former Emeralds guitarist incorporates footage from his Dad's "celebrity roast" back in 89...
Listen to a Preview of Julian Casablancas' New Solo LP
The Strokes frontman teases us with what's to come under his new guise Julian Casablancas + The Voidz.
Dum Dum Girls - "Are You Okay" (By Bret Easton Ellis, Official Short Film)
The Dum Dum Girls team up with Bret Easton Ellis in this anxious tale of chilling neurosis. Plus a very personal interview with Dee Dee.
Inside Icona Pop's Wardrobe on Miley's Bangerz Tour
How can you compete with Miley's tongue? By dressing like a cyber warrior from future planet called Awesome.
Listen to an Unreleased Unwound Track, and Read Our In-Depth Interview
Numero Group has taken it upon themselves to give the cult band the historical treatment they deserve.