Tenacious D - 'Rize of the Fenix'

Tenacious D
Rize of the Fenix

Columbia, 2012

• FAVORITES:

  Taking my headphones off and burying my face into my hands.

• FLAVORs:

  Pre-Puke Saliva, Post-Puke Saliva

RATING:

TRACK LIST:

• Rize of the Fenix
• Low Hanging Fruit
• Classical Teacher
• Senorita
• Deth Starr
• Roadie
• Flutes and Trombones
• Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage
• Throw Down
• Rock is Dead
• They Fucked Our Asses
• To Be the Best
• 39

Comedy bands are bloody great! If you can think of a single comedy band who aren't a) brilliantly funny or b) brilliant at music, I'll give you £600. But they've suffered lately. they've been killed off by an influx of rappers with Cognac problems and punk bands who release coffee table books of on-the-road Polaroids rather than skateboarding naked through the streets of San Demus. It just doesn't seem to be a genre compatible with the Modern Era. I guess The Lonely Island are the closest thing we have these days, but they're more of a "YouTube phenomenon" than a band you can see making drunk metalheads chuckle in between Killswitch Engage and Slayer on the Sunday at Download. There's a few bands and rappers who give amusing copy, but there's a big difference between taking the piss out of Bruno Mars in The Fader and topless yodelling on The Jonathan Ross Show. And it's the latter that Tenacious D specialise in.

I'm not gonna lie, when I was 14 I thought Tenacious D were really fucking funny. I knew all the words to "Fuck Her Gently" and briefly considered buying the T-shirt. Guess what? They're back! I thought it would be interesting to see if they still made me laugh out loud, or if they would be consigned to the dark and dusty box at the back of my psyche labeled "Things I Used to Find Funny." Nestled alongside Bo Selecta and .wav files of frat boy prank calls.

Here's my track by track review.

1. Rise Of The Fenix

Disappointingly, this song doesn't appear to be a reference to the criminally overlooked pop-punk also-rans Fenix TX. But rather just another funny way of spelling "Phoenix." This is quintessential Tenacious D, really--a kind of parody of a band that never really existed in the real world. I guess it sounds a bit like Dio, a bit like Zeppelin, but actually ends up sounding more like Cage The Elephant. Theres's the obligatory bit when it slows down and they riff back and forth, and say "fuck" in a high-pitched voice. I guess the only funny bit of this song is when you suddenly remember you're listening to a Tenacious D album in 2012.

LOL factor: Meh

2. Low Hanging Fruit

I guess, looking at the title, you'd assume this song was about bollocks, but no Tenacious D have fooled you, because it's about tits. Well, they keep referring to a "she" in the song, unless Jack Black is into chicks with dicks these days. Are Tenacious D beginning to alienate their listeners with deliberate ambiguity?

LOL factor: Hmmm

3. Classical Teacher

Thank god, three tracks in and finally a skit. I thought I'd accidentally stumbled on the D's serious third album for a second. The premise of the first spoken word interlude is that Kyle is losing his touch and Jack hires him a flamenco teacher. And because the flameco teacher is European, he is also gay. Because all European people are gay. The Pepe Le Pew-voiced teacher starts to molest Kyle. And Kyle begins to react badly. But just when you thought we're getting into Slash Fiction territory, it's revealed to be Jack all along!

LOL factor: If you find the concept of gay people funny, it's a zinger!

4. Senorita

Following on from the Spanish theme of the last track, here's another vaguely racist flamenco thingy. But sadly it's not a Rock version of Justin and Pharrell's call & repsonse classic of the same name (that might actually be funny). It sounds more like the theme tune to El Nombre, the Children's BBC educational segment where a masked hispanic mouse taught us how to "draw de number tree." The laughs in this song come from the fact that people who speak Spanish say funny words like "Mamacita" and clap their hands a lot. Lol @ those guys!

LOL factor: Winkie face.

5. Deth Starr

"Deth Starr" might sound like a Texas Trill MC with a weapons possession conviction, but is actually a song about Jack and Kyle needing to build a Death Star. Not sure why. Has quite an enjoyable lead guitar break, but still about as funny as… (delete where appropriate for tailor-made music journalism cliché) stubbing/burning/goring your eye/toenail/penis on a stove/cactus/Maroon 5 back catalogue.

LOL factor: Could go either way, really.

6. Roadie

A tribute to those guys who think that just owning a Fender T-shirt as well as being able to tune one makes you rock 'n' roll by proxy. To be honest, like most bloggers, it's better to let them dwell in thankless anomynity before it goes to their heads.

LOL factor: Roadies, consider yourselves LAMPOONED!

7. Flutes & Trombones

Skit in which Jack stumbles on Kyle laying down flute tracks in the studio late one night. It's, well it's no Bubba Sparxx skit.

Lol factor: Skittish

8. The Ballad of Jack & The Rage Kage

Some sort of ballad that's supposed to be funny. I'd tell you what it was about, but then i'd have to listen to it again.

Lol factor: I don't actually find love funny because I found love.

9. Throw Down

Halfway through this it hit me. Maybe this album isn't supposed to be funny? This song certainly isn't. Musically it's quite straight forward and the lyrical subject is pretty much straight too. And all the Soundcloud comments weren't people saying how funny it was, but rather commenting on Dave Grohl's guest drumming work. Am I no longer listening to a comedy record, but a kind of modern version of Bruce Willis's "Return Of Bruno?" The lines are blurring in front of me.

Lol factor: I'm beginning to think this could be an unhelpful way of judging the album.

10. Rock Is Dead

Was kind of hoping for a po-face Nas-esque requiem for a genre, blaming it all on MTV or the killuminati or some shit. But no, this is a kind of Elvis parody. Fuck Elvis.

Lol factor: I really have to get going soon.

11. They Fucked Our Asses

Actually I giggled when the titular line was exclaimed with typically Tenacious D delivery. Maybe it's a Stockholm Syndrome thing, or maybe it took me an hour to just chill out and be a bro. Sad, sad, sad that it's only being a minute long.

Lol factor: lol

12. To Be The Best

Are we really still doing this?

13. 39

Apparently so.

Needless to say I didn't stick around for the no doubt hilarious "secret track," partly because I streamed it on SoundCloud. Anyway, long story short: LOL!