Putin Enlists Boyz II Men to Raise Russia's Birth Rate
President of Russia and Man Behind the Curtain Vladimir Putin continues his quest to be an evil genius micromanager. R&B gods Boyz II Men are—allegedly and informally—teaming up with Putin to help raise the country’s fledgling birth rate. The trio will hold a concert in Moscow on February 6th, just in time for Valentine’s Day, when they’ll don their white suits and make Russian women realize how much their men love them.
Putin has been struggling to raise the birthrate in Russia since 2006, when he offered women a bonus of 250,000 rubles (about $9,200!) to have a second child. The hope is that Boyz II Men can help Russia’s negative population growth rate reverse as smoothly and grown-n-sexily as humanly possible.
Russian concertgoers will get the chance to close their eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candle light on February 6th, for 3,000 rubles (that’s $100, son. That’s a steal.)
There’s gonna be a lot of soulful clapping in Russia soon.
Martin Spasov has had sex to Boyz II Men II times. He's on Twitter - @RealMarvon