Oh, I bet you think you know it all don’t you? You’ve seen the Odd Futures. You’ve watched Yonkers. You’ve had the argument about whether saying "fag" is OK or not (even though when Cartman said it in last week’s South Park you laughed, you big fat hypocrite). You’ve played Peso at a house party. You said swag, you said trill. You’re all about the rap game and you don’t care who knows it, do you?
Well BLAM. Here’s Metro Zu, one more product of the internet’s continuing cultural explosion, coming in the form of a gaggle of young rappers, producers and self-confessed "posh gangsters."
"If you’re posh, you’re comfortable with who you are, it don’t matter what you do," says Lofty, one third of the group, speaking from the Zu Mansion along with Freebase and Mr. B the Poshtronaut. My guess is they’re all wearing loud Hawaiian shirts and have drowsy eyes.
“Posh.” That word is gonna get annoying fast. If you thought wealthy amateur skaters with an interest in dope, Southern rap, and doing the racks-on-racks-on-racks dance at gallery openings in Shoreditch were annoying, you wait until they get ahold of “posh.” The first time you see some rich kids shouting it as they watch YouTube on their phone, or hear some twerp describing French Montana as such, your head will fall off and your heart will explode.
But that’s not Miammi Zu’s fault. So let’s not worry about what putrescent sect of trend munchers is going to attempt to hijack this shit, because at a base level its purity trumps its marketability.
Zu have produced crazy chopped and screwed drowsy raps, endless mixtapes from themselves and their affiliates, creating their own creepy serial killer-style collage artwork and even trying their hands at 2step garage tracks – which is funny because they’re from Miami, not Hammersmith.
The group is normally completed by Lofty’s brother Ruben Slikk, who owns a pointy, angular flow, with the voice like he’s trying to explain space-time while tanked on drank. Most of the time, he--like his mates--uses that absurd voice to positively reinforce his sex life.
Listen to any more than five songs from their well-endowed back catalogue and you’ll find that sloppy graphic sex takes precedence over basically everything else.
“When Waka Flocka started making tapes and shit, he would rap about, like, trapping and robbing people and shit,” says Freebase. “What happened a couple months later? He got shot and robbed, man. If you rap about some shit, it’s gonna happen to you, whatever it is. We rap about being posh and fucking bitches and shit cuz that’s how we want to live.”
Lofty’s deeply onboard with the whole posh thing: “I love Emma Watson. Like, I fuckin’ love that bitch. When I’m in the studio and I’m laying down a rap, I’m just thinking about Emma Watson.”
I’m thinking about Emma Watson too.
I'm thinking she’s hot...but kind of annoying.
Follow Joe on Twitter: @Joe_Bish
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