Never Say Die: You Say Party Move Through the Pain

Photo courtesy of Tetsuomi Anzai

This article originally appeared on Noisey Canada.

“Last time I did an interview I got a major crap on my arm.” That is what I originally thought Becky Ninkovic, vocalist for You Say Party, kicked off our interview with when I asked how she’s been. Knowing she is a mother of a toddler, it didn’t seem all that impossible for such a thing to happen to her. But no, my ears misheard her. “A cramp in my arm,” she corrects me. “From holding the phone up to my ear.” She laughs at the idea and agrees: “It is entirely possible.”

This kind of icebreaker was a welcome one considering the band’s circumstances over the last half decade. Six years ago the Vancouver band (then called You Say Party! We Say Die!) lost their drummer Devon Clifford, after he collapsed on stage during a hometown show, and later died from a sudden cerebral haemorrhage. Clifford’s death obviously took its toll on the remaining members—Ninkovic, Stephen O’Shea, Krista Loewen and Derek Adam—who out of respect dropped “We Say Die” from their name. Not long after Loewen left her post as keyboardist for a healthier lifestyle, and one year later You Say Party “ceased activity” for a couple of years.

Since announcing their hiatus in 2011, You Say Party have only performed one gig: a one-off to celebrate their label Paper Bag’s 10th anniversary in 2012. From what Ninkovic says, it might also have been the last ever concert they’ll ever play. But thankfully, the band has been completely reborn in the studio with a brand new self-titled album. You Say Party is an icier, synth-led gloom pop that marks a significant stylistic change from the explosive dance punk heard on their previous recordings. Noisey spoke with Ninkovic about returning after a five-year break, how the drum machine gave them newfound inspiration and why there are no plans to ever perform live again.

Noisey: It’s kind of hard to believe it’s been six years since the last album. The band went on an “indefinite hiatus” instead of calling it quits. So did that mean you expected to get the band going again at some point?
Becky Ninkovic: No. I think we all just recognized that things can always change. We didn’t want to totally close the door to everything. We just needed to tend to ourselves and our needs in the moment, so a hiatus felt appropriate. Lots of bands break up and get back together again, or take long breaks. So I think we recognized that it could be the case for us eventually too. We didn’t want to be so final about it.

Was there any time in the last five years where you discussed ending the band?
I think there came a point for myself, where everything needed to end. I mean that feeling went out into all areas of my life. But then lots of things evolved from there. I can’t speak for every single band member, but I went through a deep period of that.

Krista was the first to leave the band, and then the three of you tried to keep going. What brought her back?
I think she really missed us and we really missed her. All of our friendships go a lot long than our band formation. I think just through a lot of talking and processing over time, it just sort of appeared to us that we all wanted the same thing. We all just wanted to be back together as the original five, but we couldn’t have Devon back with us so it had to be the four of us, and not fill the gap that he left.

The band slowly inched its way back, with the Paper Bag anniversary show, and impromptu jam sessions. What was it like to go back and try it without Devon there playing drums?
It was very difficult. Sometimes it was cathartic. But it was difficult trying to revisit old songs. It was really challenging. I found it to be too hard. Some of that, I guess, was sort of a healthy process to at least try.

How have you managed to rework that older material for this four-piece version of the band?
We haven’t. We have no plans to play live. We are just sharing this album with the public. And when we made this album we had no plans to share this album. We were just making it for ourselves. And then eventually we got back into the writing room, being creative and totally open to brand new sounds and brand new ideas. Really all four of us felt open to experimenting, and it just started like that. Eventually we realized that we had a collection of songs that make a really nice album. Yeah, it started pretty naturally and now we’re at the point where we want to share it. But we have no plans to play it live.

Do you expect to continue making music or is this one final statement from the band?
Well, we just found a new jam space, so we’ve moved all of our gear from a storage unit to the space. We definitely want to keep making music. Getting us all together into the same room is becoming difficult, but we’re working at it. We hope to keep jamming together. Right now we don’t know what will happen. Krista is trying to get into medical school, Derek and Stephen both have pretty serious jobs, and I’m a stay-at-home mom attempting to get back into the work force. We’re all in really different places, but we also love getting together and being creative. And the ideas are still coming. We’re always writing, so as long as that’s still happening we will be able to get back together and record new stuff. We’re pretty relaxed about the process right now, compared to how we used to be.

So is the decision to not play live more about just being too busy?
I think that’s a part of it but I definitely have gone through a long period of time where I haven’t wanted to be a performer anymore in that same way. Now I’m realizing that my feelings are beginning to change. I don’t really know. It doesn’t feel like a firm no anymore, but it also doesn’t feel like a yes. I think time will tell.

Obviously it’s a very different experience working with a drum machine instead of Devon. How smooth was it transitioning from a live drummer to a drum machine?
It was really smooth. Derek, Stephen and Jordan from the Noise Floor, who we mostly worked with for this album, really got into the drum machine. We just explored a lot with it. We also weren’t in a hurry, so we had a lot of time to spend with each song and listen to it. I think it was my favourite process, because we got so much time to listen back and let things sit for a while, and make sure we were happy with everything in each song before it was released and thrown into the tour beast.

Did the drum machine dictate the more electronic and ambient sound?
Definitely. When we started jamming again we all needed it to be a lot quieter, just having a baby in the room. I think all of our nerves really needed a change too. We just all found that we wanted that same thing, to turn it down and allow for some space. Before it was always turning things up louder and louder and filling up all of the space. This was a totally opposite response from us.

Your vocals feel more like one of the other instruments, instead of being the focus, like they were on previous records. Like they’re carrying the melody alongside the synthesizers. What made you want to step back?
I just really desired to blend in and not stand out. The role of the lead singer is often to stand out, and show your vocal range. There is a lot of showmanship involved. And I just wanted to blend in with the music and only stand out if it really felt necessary. I think we all felt that way with our instruments. It felt nice to relieve myself of that pressure, having to be anything extra special. It was really nice to use my voice in a natural way and not push it.

There are obvious tributes to Devon on the record, most notably “Friend.” And there is an overall sombreness to the record. And yet, you wrote a song for your daughter, “Sleepyhead.” Were you trying to keep an emotional balance by writing songs for both of them?
I don’t know if I was trying to but I definitely think balance is something I’m attempting, so yeah, I guess in a way. All of the songs kind of just happened. For “Sleepyhead” I was just putting my daughter to sleep and the baby monitor was on, and we were quietly jamming the instrumental for the song. She needed me to quiet her to sleep, so I started singing along to the music from the other room. And then when I came back into the other room, the band said, “Whatever that was you were singing that was totally perfect for that song.” And that became “Sleepyhead.”

So “Sleepyhead” was actually an accidental lullaby before it was a song?
Yeah! It is kind of a lullaby. I still sing that song to her before she’s going to sleep.

The cover photo looks like it was shot by Anton Corbijn, and a song like “Fortitude” reminds me a little of Joy Division and early New Order. Was there any kind of homage there?
There was intentional homage to it, but years and years of long drives across Canada happened with Joy Division and New Order on in the van. So I’m sure it leaked into our subconscious somehow. I can’t actually remember how we created “Fortitude.” I think we were just jamming and I loved it as an instrumental and didn’t want to put my voice into it. So we decided to leave it.

For the cover, my friend Tetsuomi [Anzai], took the photograph of us. We went out by the airport in Delta, where there are some flats, and I wanted us to be pretty indistinct. So I found some black fabric and we just explored the landscape until we found that spot to stand. We had no plans for it to be the cover until we saw the prints come back. He used one of those old, old black box cameras, where you drape yourself under the black curtain. He works at a university, so he has access to all of this great equipment. He kind of surprised us with this amazing, old thing.

Since you’re not performing, is there a way you’ll celebrate the release?
We are doing two separate shows: one in Vancouver and one in Toronto. Basically it’s a listening party where we premiere the album, but also Tetsuomi and I worked on an album-long visual that will be projected. We’re working on two different music videos right now.

You Say Party Album Release Parties:
February 12 – Milk Glass, 1247 Dundas Street West, Toronto
February 20 – The Lido, 518 E. Broadway, Vancouver

Cam Lindsay is a writer living in Toronto. Follow him on Twitter.