Musicians Busted For Being Dumb With Drugs

Do you guys know who Michael Graves is? Of course you don’t, because you stopped listening to the Misfits when Danzig left to go live in his over-grown, Los Angeles bungalow with his black cats. Michael Graves was the man who replaced Danzig in the Misfits. He is responsible for such terrible Misfits songs as “Saturday Night” and “Fiend Club.” Graves is also an infamous right-winger and a pot advocate.

On Tuesday, Graves was pulled over for suspicion of pot at a Texas boarder checkpoint on his way to El Paso for a solo show. He was arrested and taken in on an account of a misdemeanor marijuana possession. Hello? Has this guy never been through the Texas border checkpoints? You hide all “punk” looking items, swallow any loose pills in the van and chuck a Bible on the dashboard. Graves was probably wearing his Misfits make-up and an alien badge that said, “Take Me To Your Dealer.”

In honor of this idiot move, I've compiled a list of some of my favorite drug arrests from musicians. You know, the kind of drug arrests that make you go, “Really, guys? Really?”

PARIS HILTON TRIES TO PASS OFF COCAINE AS A STICK OF GUM

We can include Paris Hilton as a musician, right? She had a few songs. Okay, let’s just call her a “musician” for the sake of this arrest, because it’s just so ultra glamorous. While in Las Vegas in 2010, Hilton was pulled aside at a weekend traffic stop and, when officers searched her bag and purse, she told a police officer that the .8 gram baggie of cocaine that fell out her purse was a piece of gum—because she is PARIS-FUCKING-HILTON. Wait, no. The bag wasn’t even hers! Well, like, it’s hers, but some of the stuff in it isn’t hers, like that bag of drugs and some of the, ew, cheap cosmetics. Hilton claimed ownership of a broken Albuterol, rolling papers, cash, and her credit cards, but no, no, the coke WAS NOT HERS.

DAVID LEE ROTH BUYS DRUGS FROM AN INFORMANT

It is alleged that in 1993, the Van Halen singer tried to buy a dime bag from an informant in New York City. He was obviously arrested. The report was in High Times magazine, so, you know…

WHITNEY HOUSTON AND THE 15.2 GRAMS ON THE AIRPLANE

God bless Whitney Houston, but at one time in her life shit was pretty wild. What didn’t she do? From the tabloids shots of her “crack head bathroom” to the up-and-down relationship with Bobby Brown, her later years were a drug-fueled tornado. In 2000, Houston tried to board a plane to Hawaii with 15.2 grams of cocaine on her person. It’s really too bad that Blow didn’t come out a year earlier. She could have used the tips.

PETE DOHERTY BUSTED FOR SHOOTING JUNK ON THE AIRPLANE AND THEN ALLEGEDLY SUPPLIES TO HEIRESS WHO OVERDOSES

Poor Pete has been in tons of trouble, mostly for introducing drugs to the beautiful women around him. He’s a mess. Get used to it. In 2009, the infamous junky rocker was found passed out on the toilet during his airplane ride to Geneva. They pushed him back to his seat and then arrested him once the plane landed when a syringe was found in the bathroom. How that guy managed to bring dope and a syringe on an airplane is beyond me, but at least he managed to stay high during the entire flight. Then, a year later, when British heiress Robin Whitehead died from an overdose, Doherty was arrested for allegedly supplying the drugs that killed her because they were friends. Something tells me that Doherty isn’t really into sharing.  

MILEY CYRUS AND THE ALLEGED “SALIVA” SMOKING VIDEO

Cyrus didn’t get arrested for this, but it’s too funny to pass up. Apparently, the pop star and her friends made a cute little video of themselves smoking pot and it—gasp!—leaked out into the media. To cover up the fact that she was actually doing some super illegal stuff, Cyrus and her friends let it be known that they were smoking salvia, which is legal. We are not sure how anyone bought this. People on saliva don’t giggle like cute squirrels; they throw themselves out of windows and can’t feel their face.  Lying is the biggest crime, Cyrus. Not cool.