Miley Cyrus' Instagram Account Is Better Than a Million Art Museums Combined

Webster’s Dictionary defines art as like, you know, paintings and stuff. Some people pay good money to observe that stuff. They travel to famous museums and galleries, they attend high-class auctions, they study at top universities. It’s all a waste of time because really, all they need to do to see the greatest collection of fine art in the world is get an Instagram account and follow the most gifted artist of our generation: Miley Cyrus.

Miley Cyrus’ Instagram account is the most important contribution to the art community literally since cavemen drew on walls. She makes Leonardo da Vinci look like a no-talent pedophile in comparison. Cyrus produces several new works per day, with each creating ripples of debate and lively discussions about art among her 10 million followers. “Omg Ew what happend 2 u?” asks one astute art critic. “Ever heard of shut the fuck up. It’s her life,” responds another. “This message is cursed, but if u don't post this on seven pics your mum will die,” proclaims a third. Truly, Miley Cyrus is the boldest, most prolific artist of this generation or any generation.

Here are a few of her finest works from her extensive collection, which we have taken the liberty of titling.

It’s often been asked, “If a tree falls in the woods and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Similarly, if a 21-year-old multi-millionaire drops her denim shorts to squeeze one out in the woods, will anyone Instagram it? Fortunately for the art community, yes.

Have any other artists of the last century been bold enough to work in the medium of giant inflatable cock? Have Gerhard Richter or Chuck Close dared to explore the artistic value of air-filled plastic in the shape of a six-foot tall dick? They have not.

Cyrus uses incredibly mixed media here to create this statue which can only be described as a crossover work between H.R. Giger and Lisa Frank.

Cyrus has a keen eye for found art. Here, she has found beauty in the most unlikely place: a shitter. How does she know it’s art? It says so right there—right on the place your butt goes when you poop.

This is the story of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, but with Jay Leno as the portrait.

In one of her most provocative works, Cyrus uses her bare midriff to promote a powerful message of world peace.

Much like other true artists, Cyrus also dabbles in the medium of #tbt. Here, she revisits an earlier work with her sister and feather-mulleted father. Many have interpreted this to hint at Miley’s inner desire to identify with the common man.

Much like Andy Warhol would use his art to comment on iconic American pop culture images, so too does Miley. Here, she takes fellow art maven Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” artwork and reappropriates it, in that she takes her own head and sticks it onto Minaj’s ridiculously proportioned body and adjusts the skin tone so that you, the observer, can imagine what it’d be like if Cyrus had an absurdly gigantic white ass. A social commentary on the colorblindness of race, perhaps? Evocative stuff.

Another piece in Cyrus’ “Shitting” series, here, Cyrus adds the presence of a young male companion. Like a twerking Cindy Sherman, notice how the artist’s gaze meets the viewer directly, while the male looks off into the distance, perhaps hinting at a commentary on the patriarchal society in which we take dumps.

Here, Cyrus pays tribute to newfound hero Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill fame. Notice the juxtaposition of three million confused teenage fans with the sound of enraged old punks.

In this work, Cyrus examines the female form, specifically the part of the form dealing with sideboob.

Much like Magritte used an apple to obscure the face of his subject in “The Son of Man,” so too does Cyrus obscure her face with blunt smoke, perhaps a political commentary on the war on drugs.

A night setting. A famous rockstar. A chance to dream.

Even while jumping from a moving plane, Cyrus is able to maintain her signature tongue-out pose. Total devotion to her craft.

A video installation punctuated by traces of nip slip before transforming into a performance art impression of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.

Here, we get a rare look at the artist’s work in an unfinished state. Many believe this piece served as the inspiration for Damien Hirst’s famous “Beautiful Inside My Head Forever.”

This confirms without a shadow of a doubt that Miley Cyrus is in fact Banksy.

Jasper Johns could only dream of having the legs to pull off this look with the American flag

The artist’s statement for this piece reads: “Finallllly done geeeeeez.” Her exhaustion with the artistic process explains why so few artists dare to explore the medium of miniature bears on a mask.

Sometimes art can be summed up in a single word: Breathtaking.

Dan Ozzi took an art class in college but was asked to leave for making the nude model uncomfortable. Follow him on Twitter - @danozzi

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