In August 1994, Lisa Loeb did something no other artist had done: she reached the top of the Billboard charts without a record deal. Her dreamy, folk-inspired song from the Reality Bites soundtrack, "Stay (I Missed You)," hit No. 1 and stayed there for three weeks.In the two decade since becoming a hit, the song has taken on a life of its own; everyone from New Found Glory to Sarah Silverman has covered it, and recently it played a brief role in the Hot Tub Time Machine 2 trailer and appeared on "Orange Is The New Black." "Stay" still resonates in part because of how vulnerable it is—from the song's hesitant, hopeful guitar riffs to Loeb’s emotionally bare performance in the video. But the tune's brilliance also comes from how it acutely captures what it's like breaking up with someone out of spite ("You said that I was naive, and I thought that I was strong/I thought, 'Hey, I can leave, I can leave")—and then immediately regretting it. Loeb’s charming insecurities—"And you say I only hear what I want to"…"I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no"—and the way her ex calls out her bullshit make it one of the more realistic relationship songs of the 90s.While Loeb is certainly up for reminiscing about "Stay," she's not exactly coasting on its legacy. Her 2013 album No Fairy Tale—which was coproduced by New Found Glory's Chad Gilbert and features a pair of Tegan and Sara -penned songs —is a 90s alt-rock throwback. She's also busy making a kids musical based on summer camp that's opening in New York City in April; promoting a line of glasses, Lisa Loeb Eyewear, that's full of funky frames (including, of course, plenty of cat-eye options for those who want to get the "Stay" look); and collaborating with a variety of musicians, with plans to release these songs piecemeal. "I'm going to be experimenting with putting songs out every month or six weeks or so, just because it's fresh for me," she says. "When the songs are done, I can put them out. I don't have to wait for a full album project to be done."What is your most vivid memory of writing "Stay"?
I remember sitting in the apartment in New York City writing the lyrics. Probably sitting on the mattress—we used to put our mattresses on the floor in the 90s [Laughs.] Just sitting on the bed, hunched over my guitar with my notebook writing out the lyrics and playing the chord progression. I think it was when I was finishing up the song, like doing the final editing process. I started the song when I was in Boston at the Berklee College of Music doing summer school.When you were finishing the song, did you get a sense that it was something special?
It was always exciting to finish a song; it takes a lot of work to write the lyrics and edit the lyrics and make it all fit together, make the puzzle of the song all fit together. But I didn't know it was going to stand out from other songs until I really started playing the song live. Lots of friends would request it. I started realizing that song was standing out.What inspired you to write the song?
The music side was inspired by Hall & Oates, actually. I was told Daryl Hall was looking for songs for a solo record, so I thought I would attempt to write something for him. I wanted to write it in the style of some of his older hit songs, that were sort of that R&B thing, so that's where the verse feel comes from. The lyrics came out from being in the middle of an argument with my boyfriend at the time. That's partially why it has a little bit of the stream-of-consciousness structure, is that I was trying to write it directly. Then, at a certain point, I went in and started editing and changing it and adding things. That's where it initially came from; that's why it feels conversational as well.As the story goes, the song ended up on the Reality Bites soundtrack because Ethan Hawke (a friend of yours) gave the song to Ben Stiller, and he liked it. Was that really all there was to it?
There's a lot more but that was the basic gist of it. There was a group of us that all sort of ran around New York City, downtown. Back in the early 90s we'd all go to each other's shows, theater shows, see each other's movies. There was just a lot going on, and we'd hang out together.Ethan did come to a lot of my concerts, and he specifically asked me for that song "Stay." He thought it would work well in the movie. We had just recorded the song with my band in that same apartment in New York City, with Juan Patiño, who was the producer. We had done a bunch of acoustic recordings, but we were trying to do some band recordings together, because there were a lot of different record companies who were interested. We recorded the song and gave it to Ethan, and he passed it along to Ben Stiller.Then Ben and some other producers came to see us play live. They were supposed to be in Ireland to do a screening of the movie for U2 and see if they would contribute a song. But U2 had to cancel the screening at the last minute, so these guys ended up staying in New York City. And they came to see us play. U2 did end up putting a song on the soundtrack, which was cool to be on a soundtrack with U2.A bunch of different things happened—the song was passed along; they liked it; the producers decided to put it in the movie; the record executive Ron Fair decided to put it on the soundtrack and put it in the last position in the movie so it would play all the way through, which was exciting.How did the song take off? What was the impetus for the song from an unsigned artist to take off?
I think a lot of paths crossed at the right time. First of all, it was in a movie that was thought of it as a generational movie—there were a lot of interesting actors and actresses in it that people really liked: Ethan, Steve Zahn, Winona Ryder and Ben Stiller.The fact that Ethan directed the video was really cool. Not only did a movie star direct it, but he had a great artistic concept—a one-take video—which was very different than what was out at the time. [At the time] there were a lot of high-production [videos]with a million cuts to make it go with the music. Ethan came up with this idea that was very, very simple and very intimate. The song also sounded different than what was on the radio at the time; it sounded more acoustic even though there was a band there. More intimate.In the music industry, it was very unusual for somebody to be unsigned, which made a good story. A radio station in Houston decided to start playing the song, which was a really big deal at the time—and still today; usually a radio station is not going to play a song unless it's being highly promoted to them. But they took a chance and started playing the song, and then other people hopped on board.I rewatched the video and your performance was so vulnerable. What do you remember about the shoot? Were you self-conscious during the shoot?
The thing I was most self-conscious about was that I wasn't playing guitar. Unless I'm in the studio, I rarely sing without my guitar. That was strange, walking around singing without a guitar. Ethan and I had thoroughly discussed the video, and he had planned the whole thing out. He had shown me what it was going to look like. We were both very on the same page that the camera was the other person, that I was talking to that person. I think that relationship between me and the camera creates a weird intimacy. And the fact that it's a live take gives that same energy as when you see a band play live.I read in another interview that Betsey Johnson personally hemmed your dress for the video. Is that right? How did that come about?
I was wearing a lot of Betsey Johnson at the time. I went to her studio in New York City and we picked out a faux suede dress—it looks black on camera, but it's actually forest green—and she got on her knees and pinned the dress so we could get it exactly the right length. She didn't actually put a needle and thread in there.When the song did take off, what was the biggest change for you personally in your life?
I got to stop doing any kind of day job, like temp work, which was awesome. Some people in my life thought I had changed but I really was just super busy working on my next record, touring with the song "Stay." There were a bunch more responsibilities. I had opportunities and I wanted to take advantage of them.What's the most interesting or unique place you've heard the song?
Muzak versions of it are always the most exciting. When you hear a Muzak version in an elevator.You know you've made it when you're Muzak.
Yeah, you totally know you've made it when you hear yourself as Muzak.What's the most memorable thing a fan has said to you about their personal experience with the song?
There are a lot of people who tell me they met over the song, and they used the song in their wedding. There are a lot of girls who come to my shows, and afterwards it's very sweet, they say it's a song was a bond for them. Or mother-daughter, or best friends, or sisters—it's like their song, it's very sweet.How has your personal relationship to the song changed 20 years later? Do you view it any differently or get any more insights now?
That's a good question. When I used to sing it early on, I was more in touch with what the song was about for me. The more the years go by, I feel almost like a third person singing it. I feel more of the audience when I'm singing it—and they're singing along with me. It feels more like a campfire or something—everybody knows the song together, and we're all singing together. It's more like I'm a song leader than [me] experiencing those same feelings and that same story.Annie Zaleski is often reminiscing about the 90s on Twitter - @anniezaleski.
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I remember sitting in the apartment in New York City writing the lyrics. Probably sitting on the mattress—we used to put our mattresses on the floor in the 90s [Laughs.] Just sitting on the bed, hunched over my guitar with my notebook writing out the lyrics and playing the chord progression. I think it was when I was finishing up the song, like doing the final editing process. I started the song when I was in Boston at the Berklee College of Music doing summer school.When you were finishing the song, did you get a sense that it was something special?
It was always exciting to finish a song; it takes a lot of work to write the lyrics and edit the lyrics and make it all fit together, make the puzzle of the song all fit together. But I didn't know it was going to stand out from other songs until I really started playing the song live. Lots of friends would request it. I started realizing that song was standing out.
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The music side was inspired by Hall & Oates, actually. I was told Daryl Hall was looking for songs for a solo record, so I thought I would attempt to write something for him. I wanted to write it in the style of some of his older hit songs, that were sort of that R&B thing, so that's where the verse feel comes from. The lyrics came out from being in the middle of an argument with my boyfriend at the time. That's partially why it has a little bit of the stream-of-consciousness structure, is that I was trying to write it directly. Then, at a certain point, I went in and started editing and changing it and adding things. That's where it initially came from; that's why it feels conversational as well.As the story goes, the song ended up on the Reality Bites soundtrack because Ethan Hawke (a friend of yours) gave the song to Ben Stiller, and he liked it. Was that really all there was to it?
There's a lot more but that was the basic gist of it. There was a group of us that all sort of ran around New York City, downtown. Back in the early 90s we'd all go to each other's shows, theater shows, see each other's movies. There was just a lot going on, and we'd hang out together.Ethan did come to a lot of my concerts, and he specifically asked me for that song "Stay." He thought it would work well in the movie. We had just recorded the song with my band in that same apartment in New York City, with Juan Patiño, who was the producer. We had done a bunch of acoustic recordings, but we were trying to do some band recordings together, because there were a lot of different record companies who were interested. We recorded the song and gave it to Ethan, and he passed it along to Ben Stiller.
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I think a lot of paths crossed at the right time. First of all, it was in a movie that was thought of it as a generational movie—there were a lot of interesting actors and actresses in it that people really liked: Ethan, Steve Zahn, Winona Ryder and Ben Stiller.The fact that Ethan directed the video was really cool. Not only did a movie star direct it, but he had a great artistic concept—a one-take video—which was very different than what was out at the time. [At the time] there were a lot of high-production [videos]with a million cuts to make it go with the music. Ethan came up with this idea that was very, very simple and very intimate. The song also sounded different than what was on the radio at the time; it sounded more acoustic even though there was a band there. More intimate.
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The thing I was most self-conscious about was that I wasn't playing guitar. Unless I'm in the studio, I rarely sing without my guitar. That was strange, walking around singing without a guitar. Ethan and I had thoroughly discussed the video, and he had planned the whole thing out. He had shown me what it was going to look like. We were both very on the same page that the camera was the other person, that I was talking to that person. I think that relationship between me and the camera creates a weird intimacy. And the fact that it's a live take gives that same energy as when you see a band play live.I read in another interview that Betsey Johnson personally hemmed your dress for the video. Is that right? How did that come about?
I was wearing a lot of Betsey Johnson at the time. I went to her studio in New York City and we picked out a faux suede dress—it looks black on camera, but it's actually forest green—and she got on her knees and pinned the dress so we could get it exactly the right length. She didn't actually put a needle and thread in there.
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I got to stop doing any kind of day job, like temp work, which was awesome. Some people in my life thought I had changed but I really was just super busy working on my next record, touring with the song "Stay." There were a bunch more responsibilities. I had opportunities and I wanted to take advantage of them.What's the most interesting or unique place you've heard the song?
Muzak versions of it are always the most exciting. When you hear a Muzak version in an elevator.You know you've made it when you're Muzak.
Yeah, you totally know you've made it when you hear yourself as Muzak.What's the most memorable thing a fan has said to you about their personal experience with the song?
There are a lot of people who tell me they met over the song, and they used the song in their wedding. There are a lot of girls who come to my shows, and afterwards it's very sweet, they say it's a song was a bond for them. Or mother-daughter, or best friends, or sisters—it's like their song, it's very sweet.How has your personal relationship to the song changed 20 years later? Do you view it any differently or get any more insights now?
That's a good question. When I used to sing it early on, I was more in touch with what the song was about for me. The more the years go by, I feel almost like a third person singing it. I feel more of the audience when I'm singing it—and they're singing along with me. It feels more like a campfire or something—everybody knows the song together, and we're all singing together. It's more like I'm a song leader than [me] experiencing those same feelings and that same story.Annie Zaleski is often reminiscing about the 90s on Twitter - @anniezaleski.