Ladies, This Guy Would Like You to Stay with Him at SXSWBy Noisey Staff
Hey girl. Meet Cool Guy Daniel. Daniel understands how hard it is to find a place to stay in Austin during SXSW. Which is why he's offering up his supple, ripped arms for you to curl up inside of in between inevitably disappointing sets from buzzbands, long walks, and trips to VICELAND. Just check out Daniel's alternative rock-hard abs and his ultra-relevant sunglasses. You can just tell he is totally not the biggest creepball in the state of Texas by this description, too. Staying with Cool Guy Daniel grants you such luxuries as "Recording Equipment," "Free Internet," "Food," "A 6' Tall 190 lbs 6% Body Fat" man to stay with, and "All Entertainment Appliances." Wait, what??? One, having six percent body fat doesn't seem very healthy, and two, fuck this dude for ever thinking this would work.
Check out our screencap of the rest of his post below, and head over to CraigsList as soon as humanly possible before two other lucky ladies (twins, or sisters, or one girl, anyone really) beats you to this.
[Discovered via Brandon Stosuy's Twitter]
UPDATE: CraigsList has removed this posting, probably because too many ladies were emailing about staying with Daniel and their servers couldn't handle it.
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.