This afternoon Lost Boys and 24 actor Kiefer Sutherland unveiled the new video for "Not Enough Whiskey," the first cut from a forthcoming country album titled Down in a Hole. The announcement invites several questions. Why? Why now? Is this all happening close to next week's American Country Music Awards for good promo? Will there be a tawdry Alice in Chains cover? All we can tell for now is that "Not Enough Whiskey" is bad. The video is dimly lit, the songwriting is pat and treacly, and Kiefer, despite being good at what he does for a day job, is just nobody's country star. We watched the video together when the news came over this afternoon, and, well… let's talk about it real quick.Annalise Domenighini: There comes a time in every aging white male actor's career where he considers a career in music. Sometimes it works out well, most of the time it doesn't work out well. This is an example of when it doesn't work out well. Kiefer, are you OK?Kim Kelly: First problem: no one this loaded can make good country music. You at the very least have to start out broke, and rack up enough debt, heartbreak, and bad habits to do the form justice. If you end up rich and famous as a result, good for you; that still doesn't mean that the 24 Man had a snowball's chance in hell of coming up with anything even vaguely resembling convincing country music after just waking up in his mansion one day, stretching out languidly in his billion-count Egyptian cotton sheets, and deciding, "You know what, I'm gonna write a country song."Eric Sundermann: Honestly, I kind of fuck with this. Yeah, sure, on an objective level it's terrible and spits in the face of most music that's ever been made in this genre, but on the other hand, part of me admires the audacity that Chief Kief has by just mumbling about whiskey and heartbreak over a simple guitar line and calling it a music project. Being rich and famous must be awesome. You can do literally anything you want and get an interview in Rolling Stone.Craig Jenkins: So this is what we do now. When things quiet down in our schedules we score some hot denim and a cowboy hat and pop down somewhere weathered and leathery and cash out on country. "Not Enough Whiskey" makes me miss that outrageous moment in the 80s where it was acceptable behavior for Don Johnson to have a singing career and for Phil Collins to pop up in episodes of Miami Vice. Deep down everyone wants everyone else's jobs, huh? Let's make Luke Bryan an action hero.
Advertisement