“I'm Sorry For The Realness” - Watch Kanye West Go Peak Kanye West in This Epic Appearance on Ellen

I’m not entirely sure when Kanye West started turning every single TV appearance into an intense, stream-of-consciousness speech (and I mean that in the loosest sense of the word), but we've come to expect it in the same way we expect the grass to grow and the rain to fall and the sun to rise. Of course, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing – in a world where everyone has been media-trained to an inch of their shiny, buffed-up lives, maybe Kanye’s epic, meandering talks are simply part of his appeal.

Anyway, in last night’s appearance on Ellen the rapper once again turned himself up to 100 and went in, covering topics that ranged from (still) wanting money from Mark Zuckerberg, growing up on Rakim, the media, Steve McQueen, the Oscars and the existence of the universe. The whole thing culminated in a game of “5 Second Rule”, where Kanye chanted: “Balls! Balls! Balls!” when asked to name “three things that are hairy”. If you don’t want to sit through the actual clips, then read the best bits below:

On Mark Zuckerberg: “I’ve had dinner with his wife and told him how I could help the world and he said he’d help me and blah blah blah…I feel like if I had more resources, I could help more people. I have ideas that can make the human race existence within our hundred years better, period.”

On the media: “Fuck the paparazzi and whatever perception you have of me. Start with the truth, start with what everyone’s thinking, start there – put some dope shit with it.”

On the Oscars: “I didn’t take the Oscars as a joke…it was like ‘all black actors can talk about the glass ceilings that we’ve dealt with in this town, you get your night, go ahead, Chris Rock’s gonna do it. Bam! Talk about how many times you’ve been blocked from being able to excel!’ I didn’t take it as a joke. It ain’t no joke.”

On dead people: “Picasso is dead, Steve Jobs is dead, Walt Disney is dead. Name somebody that’s living that you can name in the same breath as them.”

On the human race: “Don’t tell me about being likeable. We’re one race; the human race; one civilisation. We’re a blip in the existence of the universe, and we’re constantly trying to pull each other down, not doing things to help each other. That’s my point.”

Watch below:

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