Juelz Santana's "God Will'n" Mixtape Makes Me Want to Punch a Train in the FaceBy The Kid Mero
YO JUELZ I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING I WANTED TO LISTEN TO SINCE YOU CAME THRU AND SHITTED ON THAT "BEAMER BENZ OR BENTLEY" SHIT B.
THIS SHIT IS FULL OF BANGERS B HOLY SHIT "NOBODY'S SAFE" CAME ON AND I RAN OUTSIDE WIT NO SHOES ON AND KNOCKED OUT A POLICE OFFICER B!! THIS THE TYPE OF IGNORANT SHIT I PLAY BEFORE I DO SOMETHING WILD CRAZY LIKE GO TO THE STORE WITH MY SON IN HIS BABY SEAT AND I DON'T EVEN STRAP THE NIGGA IN AND GIVE HIM A BEER. (A LIGHT BEER THOUGH NAHMEAN I'M NOT A BAD PARENT)
GOOD LINES THAT I ENJOYED:
"I KNOW NIGGAS THAT'LL KILL YOU THEN PAY FOR A MURAL JUST TO STAND IN FRONT OF IT AND TAKE A PICTURE WIT YOU"
"KILL A NIGGA THEN I GO TO CHURCH"
THIS SHIT GOT DOPE FEATURES ON IT TO WHICH IS WASSUP IN MY OPINION. IF YOU A NEW NIGGA DO YOUR THING AND DON'T HAVE FEATURES ON YOUR SHIT. IF YOU A NIGGA LIKE JUELZ THAT'S ESTABLISHED THEN GET YOUR FEATURE ON B. SPEAKING OF FEATURES LIL WAYNE IS ON THIS SHIT AND I REMEMBERED "I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE" AND I WAS HYPE BUT THEN WAYNE STARTED DOING SOME HYBRID DRAKE DAVID LEE ROTH BULLSHIT B. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO WAYNE SON? I REMEMBER WHEN THESE NIGGAS DID "I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE" AND I WAS LIKE YO THESE NIGGAS NEED TO DO 5 MIXTAPES BUT NOW I HAVE NO DESIRE TO HEAR JUELZ WITH LIL WAYNE PANTING AND DOING ABORIGINAL WAR CRIES ALL OVER THE SHIT. I FUCKS WIT YO GOTTI CUZ THE NIGGA SOUND LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS JAW. I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY POSSIBLE THO. "BIRSH CAWMEE AWN THUREEWAY NIUGGAS BUTTR PREPAY."
YO WIZ KHALIFA RAPPED ABOUT SMOKING WEED (CRAZY RIGHT?) THAT NIGGA REALLY SMOKES ALOTTA WEED B. SON ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I DON'T SMOKE ENOUGH WEED BUT THEN I TRY TO SMOKE "A POUND IN SEVEN DAYS" AND I REALIZE ITS ATROCIOUS AND WASTEFUL AND DISGUSTING. THIS MIXTAPE IS OFFICIAL BECAUSE IT CONTAINS AN UNINTELLIGIBLE FUTURE VERSE.
THERE'S A COUPLE WACK JOINTS ON HERE BUT MOSTLY THIS IS THE NEW SHIT FOR YOU TO DRIVE AROUND SMOKIN WEED THEN PULL OVER OCCASSIONALLY TO BEAT A NIGGA UP BECAUSE HE PUSHED YOU IN 7TH GRADE OR HE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE THAT DID.
I GIVE THIS SHIT 3.5 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUTTA 5 CUZ THERE'S A SONG ON THE SHIT CALLED "BLOG THAT" WITH A TERRIBLE BEAT AND ALSO IT'S CALLED "BLOG THAT" AND HE RAPS ABOUT INSTAGRAM. THAT'S MINUS 1 AND MINUS .5 FOR THE R&BISH JOINTS. THE UNINTELLIGIBLE FUTURE VERSE IS WASSUP THOUGH.
STANDOUT TRACK: "NOBODY'S SAFE" IS FUCKIN BANANAS B. I JUST PUNCHED A TRAIN IN THE FACE TO THIS SHIT.
Stream God Will'n Below:
THE KID MERO dispenses #KNOWLEDGE on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
If R. Kelly Makes Us So Uncomfortable, Why Do We Keep Listening?
This is art we're talking about, and it's as real as you allow it to be.
Britney Spears: Capitalism's Last Stand
At last, the Queen has found her domain.
The Real Rick Ross Stands Up
We met with the ex-crack kingpin, who told us stories from his drug dealing days and gave us an exclusive excerpt from his upcoming autobiography.
Sorry, Dudes. The Ladies Won Punk This Year.
These are the women who kicked a particularly large amount of ass in 2013.
2013: The Most OK Year Ever
Kitty Pryde reflects on her sort of shitty, sort of amazing 2013.
Cam'ron is Still Harlem's Diplomat
We met with the Golden Boy and spoke wi
YG: Krazy, Sexy, Kool
As he readies his debut studio album, the Cali rapper talks about just how krazy his life is.
When Kellz Freezes Over
We flew down to Atlanta to interview R. Kelly. Like everything in the world of Kellz, nothing went as planned, but it still felt right.
Frank Turner Dragged Me to the Weirdest Show I've Ever Been to
Sometimes you end up at interactive dance parties in Brooklyn basements with cat people.
Kevin Morby's Midwest Heart
The former Woods player and Babies member opens up about his love-hate relationship with New York, and how the internet is eating our souls.