Jewel's "Two Hearts Breaking" Is the Best Freakout Song Ever

Song: “Two Hearts Breaking” by Jewel, ranked 14th on Billboard’s Adult Contemporary chart.

What it teaches us about being contemporary adults: Having a meltdown is rare, but amazing.

“Whoa, Jewel is really freaking out.”

I said that out loud as I watched the video for “Two Hearts Breaking.” This is notable because I work in front of a computer all day and rarely say anything out loud. But watch the video above, this is a Grade A freak-out if I’ve ever seen one.

I know she is acting. This is especially evident during the scenes where she is whimpering behind the warehouse elevator’s cage door or when she is rolling around in all that dough (actual dough, not money. Seriously, watch the video). Still, there are parts where she seems to be having a genuine meltdown. I don’t think this is merely convincing acting, but rather a reaction to the song itself. Look at the lyrics:

And drying tears from crying all these years
And I know this is your nightmare come true
I never wanted this for you
But I’m the teeth, you’re the heart
With the start of the inhale and a scream
You’re the not waking, I’m the not dreaming

Jewel is clearly upset. Who hurt her? Is she singing to Kurt Loder because he was mean about A Night Without Armor, her 1998 book of poetry? All signs point to an ex-lover, but man, that Loder interview must still sting. I can’t help but listen to this song and hope that it makes Jewel feel better, mostly because I don’t enjoy it much myself.

“Two Hearts Breaking” sounds like an Alvin and the Chipmunks cover of a Fleetwood Mac song. The aforementioned lyrics are impossible to take seriously because they are so overly devastating. It switches from sullen to manic without cause or warning. I think “Two Hearts Breaking” has given me an ulcer.

Still, the song and video together depict a really great freakout, and maybe that’s the real reason why I want it to be cathartic for Jewel. Because that’s what we all really hope for in a major meltdown--and not just ones we experience ourselves: That it will make everything totally, 100 percent better.

This is rarely the case, though. Can you remember the last time you really lost it? Probably back when you were a kid, when you could go limp in the supermarket and spaz out until you decided you were done protesting your mom’s cereal choice. You went into it banking on the possibility that the freak session would act as a wide-mouthed release valve for every last knot of anxiety you had coiled up in your little chest. Even as children we never truly believe going nuts will actually work, but an uninhibited freakout is sometimes the only beer on tap at the last chance saloon. Unfortunately, the meltdowns never fully abate all that taut emotion and the feeling afterwards was always one of exhaustion and maybe a tinge of embarrassment.

The adult freakout is much rarer because it goes against the strongest social constraints to which we adhere. They are disruptive displays of narcissism that lack any hint of nuance--it is the least “cool” thing one can do. Most people go through their entire adult lives without experiencing a meltdown. This is unfair.

Recently, a Vine went viral of a woman screaming at an Apple store. While that prior, silly sentence may be an appropriate summation of life in 2013, the video itself is far more evocative of the modern human experience. Here, I’ll embed it below:

“I WAS TOLD BY APPLE CARE THAT I COULD WALK IN THE STORE AND [inaudible, perhaps ‘get the part?’]” is one of the most profound utterances I’ve ever heard. “Apple Care” isn’t a person, it’s an unnecessary warranty add-on for an overpriced computer. Yet this imaginary construct promised this woman things and she had no choice but to believe it.

Every day we are at the mercy of a swarm of products, devices, and apps and so much of our communication is carried through mute and limited channels online. We have become trained to use mediums like Twitter and Facebook for both social and career advancement because we have been told that this will work. These networks have turned us into talented self-editors, making ourselves appear cool or in-the-know or unaffected. We have become our own PR people.

Raw emotion in a public setting nowadays is truly startling--it’s the last place we expect to see human expression. Who knows how long that woman from the Vine was staring at a glowing screen at home that wasn't behaving as designed or desired. The fact she went into the Apple Store is symbolic; she’s Neo confronting the fucking Matrix here.

As with Jewel, I can only hope this was an effective release for her. I doubt it was though, now that the endless loop of her moment of madness has been watched millions of times, her shouts echoing through the glass walls of the Apple Store and into eternity. But there is hope. Look at that last hand slap. It seems as if a brief moment of calmness washes over her right before she makes contact with the stroller handle that one final time.

Fleeting relief because of a total freakout. We should all be so lucky.

Nick Greene quietly went to the Apple Store last week. He's on Twitter — @nickgreene