Is This What Justin Bieber's Penis Looks Like? UPDATE: YEAH, IT IS.
Photos of a penis have recently leaked to the Internet. While it's not confirmed, there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that would suggest that said penis is attached to Justin Bieber.
For one, yesterday, Bieber took to Twitter to complain that someone had ganked his laptop that contained "personal footage" of him in some capacity. Then, images of a male crotch-to-torso figure materialized, with the exact tattoo on the stomach of the person in the photo that exists in the same place as a tattoo on Bieber. If you place the image next to a shirtless Bieber, it seems like it could possibly be him. The belly buttons and musculature seem to match up, and if there's a time for a picture of Justin Bieber's penis (please tell me he calls it the "Bienis") to leak to the net, it would be now.
Obviously, it sucks when a person has something stolen from them, especially when you're a global pop star and that thing had "personal footage" on it. But as time has proven over and over again, the only thing we love more than a perfect angel is watching their wings get torn off in a very public manner. So Biebs, if that is indeed your penis that I have been staring at for the past ten minutes, sorry dude. At least it wasn't a sex tape?
UPDATE: THE PENIS IS REAL OH MY GOD THE PENIS IS REAL. Here are some more photos, plus a picture of Justin Bieber topless for comparison.
Welcome to Koch Boyz, Where We Document What French Montana and the Koch Brothers Are Up To
Welcome to Koch Boyz, a column dedicated to any time the Koch Brothers and French Montana do anything within a few days of each other.
Watch Mark McGuire's Pretty Personal Video for "The Human Condition"
Former Emeralds guitarist incorporates footage from his Dad's "celebrity roast" back in 89...
Listen to a Preview of Julian Casablancas' New Solo LP
The Strokes frontman teases us with what's to come under his new guise Julian Casablancas + The Voidz.
Dum Dum Girls - "Are You Okay" (By Bret Easton Ellis, Official Short Film)
The Dum Dum Girls team up with Bret Easton Ellis in this anxious tale of chilling neurosis. Plus a very personal interview with Dee Dee.
Inside Icona Pop's Wardrobe on Miley's Bangerz Tour
How can you compete with Miley's tongue? By dressing like a cyber warrior from future planet called Awesome.
Listen to an Unreleased Unwound Track, and Read Our In-Depth Interview
Numero Group has taken it upon themselves to give the cult band the historical treatment they deserve.
Real Estate: The Atlas of New Jersey
The band opens up about being called a beach band and how the internet is ruining our lives.
Babymetal Is Your New Favorite Japanese Nü-Metal Girl Group
Meet the teens who have been sent to destroy you.
Every Time Your Band Does An Encore, A Puppy Dies
And other reasons why encores are terrible.
Eiffel 65 Are the Fathers to Your Style Even If You're Too Much of a Dick to Admit It
The dude who wrote "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" explains why having one hit is better than having none hits.