Oh man, wanna hear something hilarious? Bad Religion are putting out a Christmas album this year! ...Well? Don’t you get it? It’s ironic, dummy! The band isn’t really putting out a Christmas album. Well technically, they are. But they’re a bunch of anti-capitalistic atheists, so it’s just a joke! Ha! Ha! Laugh along, stupid!
But wait, is Bad Religion’s Christmas album really an ironic joke though? Because releasing an album is a lot of work. Almost too much work for a joke. ...But nah, it’s probably a joke. They probably did all the work ironically. First, they “learned” 8 traditional Christmas songs (LOL yea rite). Then they scheduled time to “rehearse” and “practice” them (*eyeroll*). And then they paid to reserve time in a studio and “record” them (*makes jerkoff motion for 5 straight minutes*). Oh man, good one, Bad Religion!
Next month, they’ll release the album and “sell” it on Amazon where it’s already available for pre-order for $10.99. Amazon recommends that you’ll also like Barbra Streisand’s Christmas album. Facepalm, Amazon! Try to keep up here. You’ve got to be in on the joke, like Epitaph Records, who will promote it as if it’s a real album. They’ll put ironic dollars into advertising and distributing it in stores. Man, this is classic!
And then, here’s the kicker: Bad Religion fans will go out and actually buy the album for each other for Christmas. “Oh, man! You got me the Bad Religion Christmas album? I got you the Bad Religion Christmas album! We are such good friends and we both love punk rock and humor! We should tooooootally ‘listen’ to this album.”
Dr. Graffin is a smart dude. He saw how popular those Descendents holiday sweaters were last year and he wanted a piece of the action. He knows that if there’s one thing punk kids like, it’s latter day Bad Religion albums and holiday classics like “Little Drummer Boy.” Combine those two ironically and Christmas Songs is the must-have gift of the season. It’s the Furby of 2013!
Oh man, you know what makes this whole thing even funnier? The fact that Bad Religion is one of the longest-running, smartest, and most respected punk bands around and their credibility would immediately sink to the floor if they released a Christmas album for real. Good thing it’s a joke.
Dan Ozzi would not mind getting this album from Santa this year, ironically or not. Follow him on Twitter - @danozzi
We Interviewed Ron Jeremy About His Perfect, Piano-Playing Penis
Ron Jeremy made a seven-inch about appreciating classical music where he plays "1812 Overture" with his schlong.
Chiraq Versus the World
Tragedy at home is familiar, and thus easier to ignore.
The Hottest Alt-Bros at Coachella
"Wait, is your cum gluten-free?"
A Canadian in Tokyo Made a Song Out of Japanese Suicide Statistics
"What if we lived in a society where all historical records were converted into a type of music and people in school would sit around and listen to it?"
Pharoahe Monch: Stress Raps
One of the greatest technical rappers of all time speaks out about the record industry, the state of American healthcare, and that one time he ghostwrote for Diddy.
We Crashed Your Coachella Party
Life hack: You don’t actually have to go to Coachella to go to Coachella.
The Bros of Coachella
Coachella Day Two: Desert Storm Grilled Cheese
It is not Spring Break times a million
What I Learned About Style From Eve's "Who's That Girl"
The keys to being an anti-social bad bitch? Deadly animals, leather catsuits, and lava lamp print.
Former Miami Heat Star Rony Seikaly Is a Real DJ, and I Love Him
It turns out Rony Seikaly is as killer as a house DJ in the club as he is as a character in 'NBA Jam.'