Oh man, wanna hear something hilarious? Bad Religion are putting out a Christmas album this year! ...Well? Don’t you get it? It’s ironic, dummy! The band isn’t really putting out a Christmas album. Well technically, they are. But they’re a bunch of anti-capitalistic atheists, so it’s just a joke! Ha! Ha! Laugh along, stupid!
But wait, is Bad Religion’s Christmas album really an ironic joke though? Because releasing an album is a lot of work. Almost too much work for a joke. ...But nah, it’s probably a joke. They probably did all the work ironically. First, they “learned” 8 traditional Christmas songs (LOL yea rite). Then they scheduled time to “rehearse” and “practice” them (*eyeroll*). And then they paid to reserve time in a studio and “record” them (*makes jerkoff motion for 5 straight minutes*). Oh man, good one, Bad Religion!
Next month, they’ll release the album and “sell” it on Amazon where it’s already available for pre-order for $10.99. Amazon recommends that you’ll also like Barbra Streisand’s Christmas album. Facepalm, Amazon! Try to keep up here. You’ve got to be in on the joke, like Epitaph Records, who will promote it as if it’s a real album. They’ll put ironic dollars into advertising and distributing it in stores. Man, this is classic!
And then, here’s the kicker: Bad Religion fans will go out and actually buy the album for each other for Christmas. “Oh, man! You got me the Bad Religion Christmas album? I got you the Bad Religion Christmas album! We are such good friends and we both love punk rock and humor! We should tooooootally ‘listen’ to this album.”
Dr. Graffin is a smart dude. He saw how popular those Descendents holiday sweaters were last year and he wanted a piece of the action. He knows that if there’s one thing punk kids like, it’s latter day Bad Religion albums and holiday classics like “Little Drummer Boy.” Combine those two ironically and Christmas Songs is the must-have gift of the season. It’s the Furby of 2013!
Oh man, you know what makes this whole thing even funnier? The fact that Bad Religion is one of the longest-running, smartest, and most respected punk bands around and their credibility would immediately sink to the floor if they released a Christmas album for real. Good thing it’s a joke.
Dan Ozzi would not mind getting this album from Santa this year, ironically or not. Follow him on Twitter - @danozzi
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