What Musicians Were Wearing and Sharing on Instagram This Week 9/13

I was playing on Instagram earlier (which actually qualifies as “work” because of this column), and I saw someone spell “cool” as “kewl” in one of their picture captions. Who the fuck still does that? I’m actually enraged still. Whatever, here is this week’s column. Read it while I go meditate to calm down. #DatedSlangIsMyEnemy

Why are these two friends? Is there some sort of celebrity friendship Tinder where if you both swipe right it means you’re trying to be cool with each other? I need answers people because this friendship has me frustrated and perplexed.

Honest, I’m only posting this because in the course of 36 hours Jimmy Kimmel got fine as fuck. I’d like him to jimmy his kimmel on me any day. This is probably the first time Rita Ora is in a photo where she’s not the one being objectified by the comments. Because #feminism.

Beyoncé does this and it looks erotic. You do it and it looks like constipation.

This is the least scary picture on Keef’s entire Instagram account. I love him for this.

Ew Drake coming through with the white girl #squadgoals meme action. What the fuck is this summertime positivity madness? Give Raury his hat back.

It’s actually fine though because he looks like this now. Carry on.

My future bridal party.

Imagine if right after this pic was taken Taylor’s all, “Ugh get this fucking sweater off me. I hate wool and this doesn’t even look like me.” Kidding, Swifties! Your lord and savior NEVER GETS MAD.

Um excuse me, Mr. Ursher, that cigar looks like… You know what? Nevermind.

Okay now why are they friends?! I mean I’m here for it, but still. I really think my celebrity friendship Tinder app thing is real. If not, I’m creating it.

Ew Plies looks like those old school MySpace photos where dudes used to pose next to expensive things with their Bluetooth in their ears and somehow got laid still.

This same thing happened to me once when I slept in my friend’s gross ass walk-up in the city years ago. I’ll keep my ass in Jersey, thanks.

Posting because I took this same photo when I met this Amy statue in Camden Town.

So Fif can’t even spell “settle” correctly and he thinks he deserves a double-jointed woman? GTFOH.

I’m seeing these Travi$ Scott dolls everywhere on Instagram and they’re scaring the shit out of me.

Guys, Diplo died.

Kathy Iandoli is bringing sexyback. Follow on Twitter/Instagram.