What Musicians Were Wearing and Sharing on Instagram This Week 5/17

Too much random on the Instas this week. Way too much fucking random. But the good news is it’s at least entertaining. From professions of love to chicken wings, you’ll get everything you need from this list.

Okay I don’t really speak #sports, but I’m pretty sure Tupac was wearing a Detroit Redwings hockey jersey in that iconic photo and NOT an Atlanta Hawks jersey, Mr. Tip Harris. Now would be a perfect time for Pac to fly in from Cuba and correct him since we’re now allowed to travel to Cuba as a vacation destination.

Some days I really want to hate Miley Cyrus. Like, I’ll turn on my laptop and think, “Miley Cyrus deserves some shade today.” Then instead I turn on my phone and check Instagram and see her making it rain and I’m like, “Fuck it. Forget it. I love her.”

I’m posting this one because I know exactly where this place is in Paterson, New Jersey and for once I have a hometown hero like Fetty so I can shout “P-TOWN! WHUT!” unapologetically. Okay, rant over.

Oh NOW Madonna decides to dye her hair pink after the trailer for the horrible Jem movie arrives? Where was Madge when they were casting that terrible film?

A few years ago I was involved in some Facebook comment thing where I mentioned I wanted to save up to buy a Dior bag. Some fuckboy replied and said Dior made old lady bags, and all of his fuckboy friends liked his comment and made me look dumb. Now Rihanna is the face of Dior so the joke’s on you, assholes.

If you can’t afford a real Apple Watch by now, Ludacris, then I really don’t know what to tell you…

Uh Drake you’re short one hashtag on this post and that’s #MCM.

So Blue Ivy is out here showing us how she’s a better artist than most of the famous ones on the walls of the MOMA. Years from now we’ll be visiting this very picture at some installation sponsored by whatever other liquor empire Jay Z will have bought that day and think, “She was a genius from the womb.”

So Diplo gets to dress like a priest but Kendall Jenner and Selena Gomez got sonned for wearing burkas? OH OKAY.

There’s something confusing yet charming about looking at a picture of Rich Homie Quan standing in front of some banged up truck. Perhaps it’s the “Rich” in his name, or maybe it’s the assumption that rappers only pose in front of nice cars. I can’t really decide.

I actually posted this because I’m starving, but does anyone actually care about Rick Ross’ wing franchise? Like is this restaurant chain the place to eat? I should pitch a story on this. Are you reading this, Munchies?

Oh for fuck’s sake, give it up Tyrese! I had to cut the whole caption on this photo because it was so fucking embarrassing. You’re a grown ass man. Do what grown ass men do to holler at girls in 2015: SWIPE RIGHT.

Meanwhile, Janelle Monae is out here wearing her crown and giving no fucks about Tyrese’s fast and furious crush on her. She’s all, “May I have this dance, Tyrese? Right into the friend zone?”

I know this isn’t the case, but something feels super trollish about Rae Sremmurd posting a pic of Miley Cyrus carrying cases of water in her Sremm Life hoodie. Like, bad enough she’s proving to us all that she’s a mere mortal by having to shop and Costco and then bring her own heavy ass water to her car, but then they’ve gotta post this makeupless photo all for that hoodie? So rude, Rae.

If you’re not the least bit curious about this whole Taylor Swift “Bad Blood” thing, then there’s probably something wrong with you.