What Musicians Were Wearing and Sharing on Instagram This Week 7/11

Sorry, but most of my week was spent being pissed off at Bill Cosby all over again. And while I’d like to spend this whole column posting all of Snoop Dogg’s memes making fun of the Cos, I understand you all have needs too and want to see important pictures. Like, of Bieber’s ass and stuff. Well, ask and you shall receive.

Yeah, so this was a thing. My question is: who hangs out butt ass naked with their boys? Like were they all just sitting around swinging their dicks and enjoying the scenery? Guys, is that a thing? Tell me now. Also, who took the pic? Sure as hell wasn’t me. This time. Btw shout out to all the Noisey readers with Photoshop skills who killed it for our Twitter contest.

Meanwhile Miley gave Biebs a badunkadunk and suddenly his bod goes from a muscular toddler to a soccer mom from New Jersey.

In other muscular toddler news, Snoop Dogg doesn’t look right with steroid lumps. This photo is actually terrifying and I want it to go away. I like you just the way you are, Snoop. Here you look like the main event at a Male Revue at some random spot in Middle America where women go for bachelorette parties when they can’t afford Vegas.

This is Drake all emo after we clowned him for missing leg day everyday since Jimmy learned to walk again. And when I say “we” I mean Noisey. I personally look at him with the same sexual deviant eyes that housewives use when they read 50 Shades Of Grey.

Is it weird that I was following Tyler’s bout of conjunctivitis like it was some reality series? Survivor Golf Wang: The Pink Eye Edition. I’d totally watch it.

Kathleen Hanna is retiring her costumes. I’d suggest you buy them, but you’d probably look stupid in them. Only Ms. Kathleen can pull them off.

Gaga looks like one of those dudes who worked at the mall in the ‘90s at that store that sold hacky sacks and incense. That’s neither a diss nor a compliment. It’s merely an observation. All she’s missing is that one random dreadlock on the side of her head.

Who wants Puffy Juice? Raise your hand. Not you, Cassie. Put your hand down.

Nicki Minaj is on a private jet. Meanwhile you sit in seat 23F and fly Coach. And by you, I mean me.

It’s a good thing Lourdes grew up to be so badass, because if this little girl grew up to be lame and had Madonna as a mom, there would be so many problems in the world. Everything is peaceful, though, because Lourdes is cool.

See this photo pisses me off, because this looks just like one of those photos someone candidly takes of my best friend and I and we’re like, “Ew! DELETE THAT.” Meanwhile, Ellie and Taylor are all “Ugly faces? They don’t exist to us. POST!”

Is Raury 18 yet? Asking for a friend who has no chill.

Brb crying my fucking eyes out because I miss both of these artists so much. How can you listen to new music after seeing this photo? Seriously.

This photo too. Okay minus Craig Mack though. Sorry not sorry. “Flava In Ya Ear” was the jam though. The remix too.

I’m a little annoyed that Beyoncé likes the #sports because now I feel like I have to like the #sports. Is synchronized hating a #sport?

So was this like some joke where Rihanna’s chef was calling her fat? If she’s fat then most people would require a crane to leave their homes.

Kathy Iandoli wants to have brunch with Rihanna one day. Follow her on Twitter.