Important Questions Raised by Miley Cyrus' New Video, "We Can't Stop"
Making fun of Miley Cyrus is low-hanging fruit. Completely justified fruit, but low-hanging nonetheless. Because I'm occasionally clever (but mostly just mean), friends and coworkers have been sending me Miles' new video, "We Can't Stop," with an eager "What do you think of this???" all day. But other than being akin to scrolling through your Tumblr dashboard while waiting for the semi-suicidal PCP comedown to subside, this video is so goddamn brain-busting that I cannot even begin to piece together an opinion on it. I only have questions. SO MANY QUESTIONS. Maybe you can help me answer some of them.
Which carried a higher pricetag: this three-second product placement or the entire music video?
Do you even realize how many germs are on those bills?
This was the most artful way you could incorporate this product placement?
And how much of Miley's stylist's job is monitoring camel toe? (Great job, by the way.)
Does Damien Hirst need to borrow money? I can spot him if he promises to pay me back.
Is this "edgy?"
Am I having a stroke?
Where are your parents?
That's a bowl of Spaghetti-Os. How did you manage to spell "TWERK?"
What hidden cosmic truths has this woman discovered by gazing into Miley Cyrus' butthole?
Where are this doll's parents?
Would you have still thwacked away at this piñata if you had known that it was just filled with hot dogs?
Is Miley Cyrus actually just Justin Bieber wearing lipstick?
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Sasha Hecht needs to go home now. You can find her on Twitter - @sashahecht
For Absolutely No Reason, Here Are Musicians' Favorite Snacks Today, April 20
Albert Hammond Jr., Curtis Williams of Two-9, Brendan Kelly of The Lawrence Arms and others share some snacks they just happen to like.
The Weirdest Records of All Time
Featuring earthquake recordings, records pressed with diarrhea, and breastfeeding soundtracks.
Get Blazed and Make Some Custom Weed-Themed GIFs of Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, B.O.B. or Classified for 4/20
Are you high right now? Then you'll love making a GIF.
Todd Terje's "Leisure Suit Preben" Video Pays Tribute to Porny Video Games and It's Great
It's rare these days that a music video thoroughly captures the aesthetic of a musician while indulging the quirk necessary for potential virality or meme-fication.
I Was in a Coma and Now I'm a DJ
Meet DJ Disable.
420 Songs About Weed
Where in the World Can Migos Meet the Plug?
Including a womb, on the back of a dolphin in the middle of the ocean, and the set of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III'.
We Interviewed Ron Jeremy About His Perfect, Piano-Playing Penis
Ron Jeremy made a seven-inch about appreciating classical music where he plays "1812 Overture" with his schlong.
Chiraq Versus the World
Tragedy at home is familiar, and thus easier to ignore.
The Hottest Alt-Bros at Coachella
"Wait, is your cum gluten-free?"