As far as music videos go, Katy Perry seems to have two speeds: sad, and batshit fucking crazy. Her new video for the Juicy J-featuring "Dark Horse" falls decidedly into the latter category. Loosely based on Michael Jackson's clip for "Remember the Time," the video finds Katy Perry as a Pharoah in ancient Memphis, Egypt, one where Flaming Hot Cheetos, Twinkies, and the pitter-patter of EDM-trap drums help combat the punishing heat. When it dropped earlier today, we, the intrepid bloggers of Noisey, had a lot of questions about this video, and they are below this paragraph that you probably skipped.This is a pun, right?
What the fuck does Marilyn Monroe have to do with this shit?
Arenât those masks how they killed Nic Cage in The Wicker Man?
How are this guyâs ancient sneakers so modarn?
Which rich, illustrious culture is Katy Perry going to appropriate next?
Is this worse than Madonnaâs grill?
Did you know the guy who killed Harvey Milk claimed he went crazy from eating too many Twinkies?
Is this John Mayer, and why is he wearing an MMG chain?
Or wait, is THIS John Mayer?
Wait, what kind of Cheetos are you eating?
Oh duh, theyâre Flaming Hot Cheetos, arenât they?
Doesnât the NHL need this back?
Juicy Jâs not about to pop out of this thing, is he?
Oh fuck, you guys really went for it didnât you?
Is this one of the alligators from Donkey Kong Country?
âŠâŠâŠâŠ
Can I screencap this and use it to shade my haters on Twitter by saying, âFly out of my mentions?â KTHX
Did Memphis, Egypt suddenly turn into Electric Daisy Carnival?
What the actual fuck just happened?
For more pop videos we don't understand, check out our burning questions we asked of Miley Cyrus's "We Can't Stop" video and Flo Rida and Pitbull's "Can't Believe It."
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