Imagen if Katy Pery Went on a Date with Gerge from Seinfeld
Hey whats up! I am the guy whose running a twiter parady acount called @Seinfeld2000. So, I spend prety much 100 percent of my time compose twetes that envisien that senario's that would take place if Jery, Gerge, Elane and Krogmen were still on tv in modarn day. But in my quiet moment's, like when Im not thinking about what Sienfeld would be like if it was still a TV show or watever? Defenitely Im thinking about Katy Pery.
Remember Katy Pery? Three year's ago she had an albem its called Tenage Dream and for sure it was a bonefide "smash sucess" but it seem's lately like Katy Pery just disapeared from the harsh glaire of the paperazi flash bulb's. Or so I had thought! I was saying this to my best freind Karim, you know, "what ever hapened to Katy Pery" and he put me on to Google News Alart. Do you ever use that? Basicly you can program your Google to send you a notificatien (or "alart") when ever theres a news on what ever subject you want. This informatien change my whoale lifestyle LOL! Curently? My phone is now blowing up all the time as Katy Pery update's are always coming down the pipe line.
Recently a lot of poeple ask me what hapened to my leg. I alway's tell them the same thing: MIND YOURE OWN BUSINESS DICK FACE!!! Just kiding. Its broken! K, so heres what hapened. I was crosing the strete when i felt the vibratien of my iPhone 4S giving me a "pocket hummar" in pant's pocket. (side note: imagen if Mark Walbarg made his song "Feel The Vibratien's" today. It would DEFENITELY be about mobile device's and not about sex intercorse. LOL! Pageing Andy Sambarg from Lonely Islend!!)
Where was I. So I was jay walking throgh a busy intarsectien or what ever and just then my iPhone 4S start's to buzing, so I just whip it out (iPhone 4S not penis you pervart) and its my gmaile sending me yet anather Katy Pery alart. I dont know if you heard this but Katy Pery and Robart Patterson from Twilite are dateing, what the hell!! So I just literaly yelled that out loud in the midle of the strete: "Katy Pery and Robart Patison from Twilite are dateing, what the hell!!" And like 2 second later a SICK LIME GREEN COLOR KAWESAKI NINJA MOTERCYCLE crash directly into me at high speed!
Anyway, yada yada yada acording to the docter, I severly broke both my tibia and fibula. The docter didnt even say I "broke" my leg, he use the word "shatered." Now I have 19 screws and two steel plates in my leg. The worst part is they refuse to let me take pain medecatien becuase it would "conflict" with some other medcatien I already take since i was a small boy for some psychelogecal stuff or whatever. The pain is constent and excrutiateing. The only thing that dull the pain now for me is when i get distract by my fave preocupatien: imagening if sienfeld was still on TV.
Imagen if Sienfeld was still on TV? What if Gerge is watching the local new's and they do a news story about this high school kid whose definitely living the "Teenage Dream." He asked Kate Upten to be his prom date via You Tube but then Kate Upten wasnt "availeble" so then Kate Upten hook him up with totaly smokeing hot Sport's Ilustrated Modal Nina Adgal! Man its so easy for tenager's in modarn day. When i was in high school if we wanted to take a supermodel to prom we would have to send a fax! (Cut to Claudia Shiffer fax mechine printing out my two page oficial prom propose and then riping it up).
Anyway so Gerge get's inspire: he wear's a wig and ton's of foundatien and consealer to make him look like a 17 year old boy and then he create a You Tube vid asking Katy Pery to be his prom. Then it just go's virel becuase the Today Show need content or whatever and Katy Pery say's yes! So then on prom nite, Katy Pery show's up at Gerge's apertment. She look SO beauteful. Gerge imediately get full erect.
Katy Pery see this and shes flatered, but some thing doesent feel rite here. All sort's of red flag and alarm bell imediately start going off in Katy Perys mind. Imediately she start to interagate him:
KATY PERY: What hapened to your hair, in your You Tube prom request you have a long mane of flowing hair but now youre bald with clasic horse shoe patern.
GERGE: I shaved it to get a fresh look for the sumer. Its defenitely more crisp now.
Satisfeid with this explenation, they wisk off into limo and go to prom which is at a realy expensive privete school in New York city, its not importent which one. But just one small problem, the securety at the high school is AMP UP, and as soon as Gerge and Katy Pery arive, the principel just go "Hey, hang on your not a studant here." Katy Pery go "I knew it!" and she just SOCK Gerge in the face exactly like Marisa Tomay in the CLASIC epsode of Sienfeld when Gerge told Marisa Tomay that hes "kind of engaged." But then the twist is Katy Pery stay behind at the prom and perform "Last Friday Nite" for all the student's while Gerge get kicked out and just has to go home.
Then during the credit's we just see Gerge watching masterbating to Katy Pery's Teenage Dream music video on VEVO with a deeply disapointed look in his eye's.
I was lying to you earlier when I told you the story about how i break my leg. Actualy I got hit by a Vespa Scoter. I just thought a Kawesaki Ninja motercycle would sound more cool.
Find Jary on Twiter - @Seinfeld2000
This Modern Love: We Are Scientists
Do you rate 'BASEketball,' love Hanes v-necks, and dancing to goofy-ass, Prohibition-era jazz? You may be the lady Keith from We Are Scientists has been scouring the planet for.
A Conversation with New York Legend—Photographer Maripol
Photographer/Designer Maripol's styled Madonna, Deborah Harry, and Grace Jones. She talks about her experiences in NY in the early 80s, her new book, plus here's the premiere of her song and video for "Tuesday."
Here's 11 Awesome Things About Petite Meller's Video for "IceBear" ft. Joe Fleisch
Parisian pop princess goes winter wonderland weird.
Here's "Hero"—The Brand New Tune by Diplo, Frank Ocean, and The Clash
We hung out with the boys in Brooklyn about this unlikely collaboration
"Daughter, Daughter" by D/C Will Make You Root for the Supposed Bad Boy
When will parents understand that when they butt into your love life, you're gonna run 100 miles per hour in the other direction?
An Interview With Georgia Nott of BROODS
Gorgia Nott has a lot to be happy about. At 19, the New Zealand musician is half of BROODS, one of the quickest rising duos in electronic pop music at the moment.
Keep Up With Our SXSW 2014 Coverage Here
Hopefully, we don't die.
The Score: Mapping the Music and Style of 'That Thing You Do!'
Sixties chic via the 90s and that one song over and over and over.
We're Premiering Big K.R.I.T.'s "Steps" Documentary & a New Song Feat. Big SANT & Smoke DZA
#weekofKRIT Is Almost Over.
Kanye West and Crustpunk: Together at Last
It's the Leftöver Crack/Kanye mashup you've been waiting for.