Hollywood Undead's "Notes From The Underground" Is Extra Embarrassing Teenager Music
"YO DUDE BRO I FUCKIN WEAR ADIDAS SHELLTOES BRO AND I DRINK JACK DANIELS *VIOLENTLY SCRATCHES RECORD ON TURNTABLES* I LISTEN TO RUN FUCKIN DMC BUT I ALSO PLAY THIS MOTHERFUCKING GUITAR *DOES STUPID FRED DURST SHUFFLING DANCE HEADBANGING SHIT* BITCH!"
WOW SON I THOUGHT THIS SHIT WAS OVER WITH LIMP BIZKIT/KORN/LINKIN PARK? I CAN HEAR THESE NIGGAS WEARING HUGE DICKIES ON THIS SHIT B. YESTERDAY I REVIEWED AN ALBUM BY A BAND THAT DRESSED LIKE CRISS ANGEL IN AN ANIME MOVIE ABOUT MOTLEY CRUE. I REMEMBER BEING A TEENAGER AND SHIT AND THINKING THIS SOUNDED CRAZY AND REBELLIOUS AND NOW I'M LIKE WOW DAMN THIS SHIT IS EMBARASSING. I KNEW THE SHIT WAS EMBARASSING THEN BUT NOW THIS SHIT IS EXTRA EMBARASSING.
BECAUSE THESE NIGGAS ARE WEARING NUMETAL BRO COSTUMES WITH MASKS & SHIT. NIGGAS LOOK LIKE THEY WENT SHOPPING AT ZUMIEZ AND THEN BOUGHT OUT THE SEASONAL HALLOWEEN STORE. THIS MUSIC IS TERRIBLE UNLESS YOU'RE THE NIGGA THAT "CURATES" THE SOUNDTRACKS FOR JASON STATHAM MOVIES, THEN YOU LOVE THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT MAKES YOUR JOB TREMENDOUSLY EASY. IS SLIPKNOT NOT AROUND ANYMORE? CUZ THESE NIGGAS ARE BASICALLY SWAG JACKING SLIPKNOT B. THIS IS A NAUSEATING COMBINATION OF KORN AND SLIPKNOT AND LINKIN PARK AND A BAG OF CIRCUMCISED DICKS. LOLOLOL THIS NIGGA SAID "I AM A LION AND I WANT TO BE FREE" OVER A SOMBER PIANO TUNE, WHAT A DICK. THIS IS UFC TRAINING MUSIC FOR NIGGAS THAT'S NOT IN UFC. THIS IS FOR ANY MOVIE THAT HAS A SLOW MOTION TIGHT ZOOM OF A DUDE IN A RING DOING THE LITTLE SIDE TO SIDE HOP THAT BOXERS DO WITH BLOOD AND SWEAT DRIPPING OFF HIS FACIAL. SO BASICALLY NOTHING I WOULD EVER WATCH.
WE ARE WE AAAAAAARE WE ARE MADE FROM BROKEN PAAAAAARTS OUR HEARTS OUR HEARTS WE ARE BUILT FROM BABY FARTS WE FARTS HEARTS HEARTS SHARTS MARTS CAAAAAAAAAART *INDUSTRIAL SOUNDING BREAKDOWN THAT SOUNDS LIKE A TV ON CHANNEL 3 WITH A HARPSICHORD*
YO THERE'S ALSO SOME CORNY FAKE TYGA SOUNDING SHIT ON HERE ABOUT TOUCHING A GIRL'S BODY AND HER DROPPING IT LOW. WHICH USUALLY I FUCK WIT BUT THIS SOUNDS LIKE BABY BASH WROTE IT FOR EMINEM AND THEN GOT SKRILLEX TO REMIX IT AS A FAVOR. THESE DUDES ARE TRYNA DO LIKE 3 DIFFERENT GENRES OF MUSIC BUT THEY PICKED THE WORST FUCKIN GENRES AND THEN THEY DON'T EVEN DO THEM GOOD. THESE LYRICS ARE COKEDREAM LYRICS TO THE FULLEST B. LIKE THESE NIGGAS DEFINITELY GOT WILD COKED UP AND THEN WROTE "DEEP" LYRICS. "SOME PEOPLE DIE SOMETIMES I AM JUST A SHADOW OF A SOUL" NIGGA PLEASE PUT AWAY THE YAY YOU SOUND LIKE A 14 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL'S LIVEJOURNAL.
*DOES BACK HANDSPRING FATAL KARATE KICK TO THIS WHOLE ALBUM*
I GIVE THIS 1 PILE OF DUTCHGUTS OUTTA 5. I GAVE THEM 1 PILE BECAUSE THERE'S A SONG CALLED "KILL EVERYONE" WHICH SUCKS BUT I LIKE TO PRETEND IT'S AN UNCLE MURDA SONG AND NOT FRED DURSTS FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME COUSIN.
STANDOUT TRACK: "CRUNCH TIME" ON THE MEMBERS OF BYRDGANG MIXTAPE IS A GREAT SONG. THERE'S NO SONGS ON THIS AUDIO METH LAB THAT I WOULD EVEN LISTEN TO TO ATTRACT A SUBURBAN BITCH WITH TATTOOS AND A PICKUP TRUCK WITH GIANT TIRES.
THE KID MERO is unimpressed with most music, which is fine because most music is unimpressive. Find him on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
We Interviewed Ron Jeremy About His Perfect, Piano-Playing Penis
Ron Jeremy made a seven-inch about appreciating classical music where he plays "1812 Overture" with his schlong.
Chiraq Versus the World
Tragedy at home is familiar, and thus easier to ignore.
The Hottest Alt-Bros at Coachella
"Wait, is your cum gluten-free?"
A Canadian in Tokyo Made a Song Out of Japanese Suicide Statistics
"What if we lived in a society where all historical records were converted into a type of music and people in school would sit around and listen to it?"
Pharoahe Monch: Stress Raps
One of the greatest technical rappers of all time speaks out about the record industry, the state of American healthcare, and that one time he ghostwrote for Diddy.
We Crashed Your Coachella Party
Life hack: You don’t actually have to go to Coachella to go to Coachella.
The Bros of Coachella
Coachella Day Two: Desert Storm Grilled Cheese
It is not Spring Break times a million
What I Learned About Style From Eve's "Who's That Girl"
The keys to being an anti-social bad bitch? Deadly animals, leather catsuits, and lava lamp print.
Former Miami Heat Star Rony Seikaly Is a Real DJ, and I Love Him
It turns out Rony Seikaly is as killer as a house DJ in the club as he is as a character in 'NBA Jam.'