So we all know that Christmas is a time for joy, a time for giving, and a time for giving, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's about avoiding your family at literally any cost, because suddenly you've come back from your first semester at Wesleyan and you've done acid a bunch of times and are now a communist and you recognize your uncle's small roofing business as THE BASTION OF CAPITALIST EXPLOITATION THAT IT IS. Or maybe you just are hung over because you went to the bar last night and got too drunk because you have nothing to talk to your high school friends about anymore. Whatever. The point is, if you don't really want to be paying attention to your family, we dug around and found three projects that might make your Christmas a little bit more bearable.
True fact: Nathan Williams of Wavves is in a production duo along with his brother Kynan, and they're actually super fucking rad—dubby, hip-hoppy, smoked-out and fun in all the right ways. Out of nowhere they decided to release a Christmas mixtape, and it's weird and kind of perfect.
Optimal Familial Excuse: "MOM, GET OUT OF MY ROOM THAT'S JUST A LAMP I PROMISE NO IT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE POT IT'S JUST INCENSE MERRY CHRISTMAS."
Troy Ave really went for it with this one in terms of the whole "Holiday-Themed Rap Mixtape" thing, way more than the dude Mr. MFN eXquire did last year. For one he called his tape White Christmas, which is pretty hard considering Troy essentially makes nails-hard coke rap, and then he enlisted DJ Holiday of "Holiday SEEEEEEASON!" fame to host the tape, and capped it off by singing an endearingly off-kilter version of "White Christmas" for the tape's intro. In case you were wondering how real he was, Troy got Pusha T and N.O.R.E. to guest on this, and those guys don't just show up for anybody. "Concrete Jungle," the aforementioned Pusha collaboration, contains the line, "I got red bottoms too, mine's from murders." Which, just, damn.
Optimal Familial Excuse: "POWDERRRRRR"
XLR8R just posted a .zip file of their 100 most-downloaded tracks of the year, and XLR8R is great and benevolent and kind, and if you want to know what you missed from good, progressive electronic music this year, this is probably the easiest way to catch up without going to that one weird record store in DUMBO and spending like four hundred bucks on twelve-inches from England.
Optimal Famililal Excuse: "Sorry Dad, I'm a robot now.
In closing, Merry Christmas, y'all. Listen to music. Give someone a hug. And after you're done listening to this stuff, actually talk to your family. They're cool, probably.
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Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
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Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
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Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
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Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
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Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
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R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
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The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
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I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
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Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
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Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.
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