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Here's a Picture of Justin Bieber and His New Pet Monkey

Instagram Report

By Drew Millard

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The above Instagram is from an account called @lastkingmm, who according to Teen.com is a film producer and according to me is a dude who Instagrams a lot of fucking pictures of monkeys, depicting Justin Bieber with (apparently) his new pet monkey.

Let's all celebrate Justin Bieber's new pet ownership by looking into his eyes. They're glassy, like a doll's eyes. Those are the eyes of the dead. Of those no longer in the realm of humanity. The eyes of the very, very, very, very, VERY high on drugs. Like, his eyes aren't even looking in the same direction.

Also, let's think about how he's trying to get the monkey to play with a stuffed animal of some sort. Monkey's not having it. It is looking away from the golden whateveritis that Bieber's trying to shove in its face, away from Justin Bieber's slack but still puckered lips, into the distance. What is he looking at? Whatever it is, it's definitely safer than Bieber, who lest we forget, recently spat on a grown man.

Also, I guess I'm burying the lede that Bieber also is now apparently friends with Tyler, the Creator, but whatever.

[via Kat George]

 

@drewmillard

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