In honor of the 15th anniversary of the 1997 drive-by that took Christopher Wallace's life, I decided to do some light YouTubing in an attempt to further my understanding of Notorious BIG's iconic catalog beyond bopping along as my lanky blonde friends "non-ironically" bust it out to "Juicy." Unsurprisingly, I now find myself in a Youtube k-hole surrounded by preteens vying for street cred and an alarming amount of acoustic guitars. Let me bring you down here with me.Alright, Jack Johnson, I will admit that you're pretty good at the ukulele, but being "pretty good at the ukulele" is kind of like having a "really cool spoiler" on your Scion (I really shouldn't have to explain this analogy any further). Ukuleles are perfectly portable, which is a great way for guy-who-plays-acoustic-guitar-at-house-parties to impress his friends with his Sublime "Santeria" cover on the go! I bet "Big Poppa" really bowls them over. Pass the Keystone Light.Does what it says on the label. It's so cool that we live in a post-racial society where white suburban teens can grab some sweats and empty bottles of their parents' alcohol to imitate what they erroneously perceive to be the extent of "black culture" so that other white people on the internet can laugh at it, right guys??I'm not going to take cheap shots at this girl because I like her style. Reclining, "Nana" keeps it steezy adorned in what appears to be a fitted bed sheet, spitting Biggie's ubiquitous lyrics between licking her fingers. Nana puts on airs for NO ONE. Do you, girl.I will be perfectly honest here: I didn't make it past "It was all a dream." Maybe I judged the cover-- dedicated by Godlin to his "campers"--too quickly. Maybe, 15 seconds into the song, he stops everything, goes "HAHA, JUST PLAYIN'! You didn't think I would actually subject the world to something that sounded like that, did you??" and then masterfully picks up where Biggie so abruptly and tragically left off. Maybe, I don't know. What I do know, is that this is the first time I've read the comments of a Youtube video and breathed a sigh of relief thinking "Oh good, the internet is already being mean to him."Whoa shit, looks Apple just told Samsung where they can shove their new stylus. Apparently, this was the winning submission for Music Hack Day 2011 in London by an Apple geek with a fondness for 90's East Coast gangsta rap. Chances are, Mac's marketing team tried to get Siri on board with those "Fun." assholes, but--as you can clearly see--she's way too hard for that bullshit. iPhone, please…Extra credit: Someone by the name of DJ Terry Urban has created a mash-up of Biggie's Ready to Die and Lana Del Rey's Born to Die, because there isn't already enough affliction and turmoil in the world. I haven't listened to it, but if you hate yourself enough, you can download that for free here.@sashahecht
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