My attempt at barefoot running. Yes, the man behind me is wearing khakis.
This week, while running errands around Los Angeles, I saw three separate people running barefoot down the sidewalk. Each time, my thought process was the same. "Fuck, why is this insane person chasing me?" turned to "Oh fuck, who is chasing this poor, shoeless person?" Eventually, I landed on "Oh fuck, is this person exercising?!"
So barefoot running is a real thing in the world, complete with it's own Wikipedia page. According to Harvard University, "barefoot and minimally shod people can run easily on the hardest surfaces in the world without discomfort from landing" (emphasis mine, for comedic effect).
But guys, we aren't at the beach or in the wilderness - we're in Echo Park. These sidewalks are covered with sharp, dangerous human excrement! "Our street poop will cut your feet" is practically our city motto. Sunset Avenue is not a place to demonstrate caveman skills, it's a place to buy delicious burritos, so put some shoes on.
Being a super fair, down-for-whatever kinda gal, I didn't want to totally hate on barefoot running without giving it a chance. So today, I decided to head down to Sunset and try it out. I didn't exercise - I just walked to the exact spot I saw one of the runners this past week and stood there for 10 full seconds, feet to concrete. Afterwards, I decided that I am right about hating this activity and will never attempt it again. (PS: What kind of diseases/infections could I have possibly contracted doing this? Put all possible options in comments section, please and thank you.)
A different footwear trend that is even worse is the popularity of "toe shoes." This is the only running shoe that is more embarrassing than wearing no shoes at all. People walking around town, in and out of your favorite establishments, wearing shoes that have separated toes like it's NOT the worst thing in the world. Hey, I get it, they are better for your feet somehow (via Science), but please don't make me watch.
I guess I don't really have room to complain, since these people are just jogging around, getting exercise and being healthy while I'm stuck in a tour van sitting on my ass all day. Perhaps if I used my feet more, I might also have a desire to maximize my toe agility. But if your footwear lifestyle determines your footwear deathstyle, I would rather go out wearing some moccasins or Keds or something.
What does Gotye have to do with the minimalist footwear movement? His preference for minimalist instrumentation, of course! In a world where every pop song is now packed full of guitars, synths, horns, strings, harmonies, air horns, and earth-shaking low end, Gotye came along and made everyone question the modern more-is-more philosophy.
Can we say that Gotye is the "barefoot running" of modern music? Maybe, but I'm not going to think any more about this. I really don't take myself that seriously (yet).
Previously - How I Got My Nickname
You should listen to all of Katy's music - she's in the Vivian Girls and La Sera. La Sera's Sees The Light is out now on Hardly Art - you can pick it up right here. Follow her Twitter too: @iamkatygoodman
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.