Festival Estéreo Picnic: What People Were Wearing at the Bogotá fest

PALPABLE JOY. The dude on the left is mid-fist pump!

Earlier this week I wrote about my experience at Bogotá music festival Estéreo Picnic and since its publication music fans who attended the event have been astonishingly forthcoming in reaching out via social media to tell me how much they liked the piece and how I am welcome back any time. (It was a markedly different response than the one I had to my Coachella underbutt coverage, but there we go!)

I guess I shouldn't be that surprised because honestly, I found the denizens of Colombia incredibly friendly and welcoming. One example of this being when I asked if I could take people's picture for a style article they were thrilled and when they posed they were always smiling. Mostly when you ask people this in the US/UK people affect a pose that says: "I'm kinda disinterested, but yeah I guess I look pretty good." Not so in Bogotá! They were high on life!

But before we get to them. Here's a little Festival Estéreo Picnic by numbers.

1 guy dressed like Vampire Weekend—cable knit sweater thrown casually around his shoulders—accessorized with a creepily long pinky fingernail. Wonder that could be used for…

5 empanadas ingested in a single sitting.

143 flower crowns counted.

1 misplaced raver with a pacifier.

1 offer of LSD.

3 portions of Colombian rib soup consecutively eaten. (Apparently this fatty liquid goodness is Bogota’s go-to drunk food. I can see why.)

1 straddling of a mechanical bull lasting 14 seconds.

3 crutches spotted in the air in the middle of the crowd, at pretty much any given time. (Although only one is pictured here.)

13 times Cut Copy’s singer raised his arms in the air to hype the crowd and signify imminent orchestrated euphoria.

29 RCHP t-shirts spied.

Check this girl. Her look says GO HARD OR GO HOME. Even her backpack matches! That's next level attention to detail. What can be gleaned from these two ladies? Florals are timeless, crop-tops are still a thing, but remember—as these ladies have—if you're crop-topping, a high-waisted bottom half is your most flattering option. Also, leather jackets are always a WIN.

Every day I get up I'm happy I was born a girl because getting dressed is fun—the field is wide open. I can dress like a boy, I can wear a skirt with ponies on it, I can dig into my mom's wardrobe and dress like her circa 1977 (and I frequently do). I don't have to worry about what footwear looks good with shorts. That's not to say that boys can't be experimental and whimsical in the way they dress and accessorize, it's just the average dude does not go out on a limb. Having said that, there's a guy at VICE who wears a sweatshirt covered in enormous cookies, so although it makes me hungry to see said sweatshirt, that dude knows what's up. I was immediately reminded of him when I saw these two. Those are some bold patterns and I am into it. It was also an excellent reminder on the day that I should put down that fifth chorizo and eat a banana instead.

You know what's awesome about this couple? Not only did they fully co-ordinate their bold patterns with black but look how they flipped it—black on the bottom, colors on top and vice versa. Do you think they discussed this the morning of? It's like their attire underscores their deep, deep love. I'm not even kidding. Their placement of fabrics says: "I got you. What you don't have I shall provide." A great relationship is a see-saw of balance. Also their outfits are smart because eating at a festival can be messy, but no one will know if your arepa splooged all over your pants or down your shirt if you're wearing 73 different colors at the same time.

Hands down my favorite festival babe. Look how cute she is! She's dressed like Beetlejuice and she was losing her shit to the Pixies. Adorbs.

Let's take a break from garms and talk

Here is a asymmetric mullet I papped. This is the look all of East London was rocking back in 2003. Me included. I was snipped to look like an asymmetric lesbian parakeet back in those days. Tragic times.

As I noted in my review of the festival, Sunday was all about reggae and thus there was a alarmingly high proportion of audience and band members working dreads. Dreads are bad enough as it is. Please don't argue with me here: they're unforgivably nasty. I got talking to a member of Cultura Profética and he told me he used to have dreads and they used to smell and they made his head itch. He said his mom was ECSTATIC when he shaved them off. I bet. That's a deal breaker.

But what was more noticable than the proliferation of dreads was the single rat tail, either in dread or braided form. What do you suppose is up with that? Do you think these men like their partners to give it a little tug at the point of climax? Just, why?

Are you related to the Rodriguez-Lopezs? Are The Mars Volta really over for real, for real? When this guy wasn't grinning he looked extremely unapproachable and too cool for school, but look how goofy his grin is? He's ankle-deep in hay and he's having the best time.

One of my favorite horror movies of ALL TIME is Ringu so I was totally stoked to meet Sadako out and about and enjoying herself. Don't let them keep you down that well! Get it girl!

In Colombia the old people party as hard as the kids. I don't know if it was the effect of Pharrell's hat or if whatever was weighing down that plastic bag attached to that dude's pants was fuelling their good time, but these two were wrecking the VIP section like it was their last night on earth. It was like watching a car crash, but I was into their enthusiasm, if not their outfits.

My first instinct here is to make fun of this person. How come half your body says Venetian masked ball and the other says, "Hey I'm camping here!" But look at her smile. I can't. She's too lovely.

This chick straight up skinned Ariel and made some leggings. Somewhere in the deep blue vastness of the ocean Flounder is crying. She then made a handbag to match. No really, she's a handbag designer, which is pretty sweet.

I'm kinda into the ridiculousness of their floral/jungle bombers but enough with the Native American headdresses already! As for the girls, SARRY! You're just not bringing your A-game ladies, I had to subtract you from the equation.

I found one of Milli Vanilli! When I got home later that night I listened to "Girl You Know It's True" four times in a row and thought about all the time I spent dancing around my bedroom to them as a kid. Sidenote: MV have a Vevo acct. Can we please take a moment.

Expect a

What I Learned About Style from Milli Vanilli's "Girl You know It's True"

coming soon.

Ongoing proof that black remains the coolest color. Savages implement this knowledge on the regular.

As a rule I'm extremely unfond of plunging necklines on men. I guess I just don't find the male sternum an errogenous zone? IDK, but this guy has a square tattooed in the center of his chest, so like, what you gonna do? Hide that away? I don't think so. This guy is basically laughing because everyone and their mother has a triangle tat and he's like, "Three sides? Whut! You SHEEP. It's all about the fourth wall." Also I for sure had the exact plastic jacket when I was six. How did he find this in man size? Dude is made of some magic.

What have we learned from this? Always accessorize with smiles.

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