Every Beach Boys Greatest Hits Album, Reviewed

You know? I’m just an honest, hardworking American boy who loves authenticity and Jesus Christ, and I can’t recommend Made in U.S.A. enough. It has the best—and I do mean the VERY best—of the Beach Boys. I’m talking “Surfin’ Safari,” "Fun, Fun, Fun,” “Sloop John B,” “Heroes and Villains,” and of course, “God Only Knows.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel alive unless I’m listening to those California golden boys. Take me back to a brighter time, a time of juke-boxes and appropriate haircuts—that’s the America I know. Made in U.S.A. is just the right music.

5/5

Let me tell you, the world has been tiring me out. North Korean threats? Domestic bombings? Has the world gone crazy?? Sometimes we need something pure and true to get us through the tough months, but thank the Lord for The Very Best of the Beach Boys. Not only does this beautiful album contain all-time classics like “Surfin’ Safari,” and “Fun, Fun, Fun,” it also gives us the immortal “Sloop John B,” the inimitable “Heroes and Villains,” and of course, the greatest pop song ever written, “God Only Knows.” Finally, all of these songs packaged together, finally a reason to listen to music again. I can honestly say that there’s nothing else out there quite like The Very Best of the Beach Boys.

5/5

Holy. Shit. You know, folks, I’ll level with you: I’ve been leading a life of sin. Too many backdoor deals, too many loose women, too many off-color comedians devaluing my curious mind. I’ve been feeling a little far from enlightenment lately, but the truth has set me free. And let me tell you, Sounds of Summer: The Very Best of the Beach Boys is the truth. Finally I have a reason to get ordained, thanks to this one-of-a-kind collection that brings together such timeless tunes like “Surfin’ Safari,” “Fun, Fun, Fun,” “Sloop John B,” “Heroes and Villains,” and of course, OF COURSE, the crown jewel of the great American pop empire, the sonorous equivalent of the Holy Ghost, “God Only Knows.” I have brushed off the disbelief from my clothing, and take my rightful place in the pantheon of good tidings. Sounds of Summer: The Very Best of the Beach Boys is truly the very best of the Beach Boys.

5/5

OH MY GOD THIS ALBUM HAS BLOWN MY MIND SO MANY TIMES THERE’S BRAIN MATTER ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM. 50 Big Ones IS THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE AND NOBODY COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH IT MOTHERFUCKER. I WANT TO DRAIN BRIAN WILSON OF HIS BONE MARROW FOR THE SLIGHT FRACTIONAL CHANCE THAT IT MIGHT IMBUE ME WITH THE INFINITE GENIUS THAT MAKES THE ENTIRE WORLD BUCKLE AT THE KNEES. THIS SHIT HAS “SURFIN’ SAFARI,” “FUN, FUN, FUN,” SLOOP JOHN B,” “HEROES AND VILLAINS,” AND, OH MY GOD I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN TYPE, I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I’M FUCKING WORTHY, “GOD ONLY KNOWS.” I KNOW, YOU BETTER PICK YOUR EYES OFF THE KEYBOARD AND GET YOUR AMAZON GAME GOING RIGHT NOW DUDE. GOOD LUCK MAKING YOUR WIFE FEEL WANTED NOW THAT YOU CAN ONLY CUM WHEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALBUM.

5/5

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAThe Platinum Collection AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA “Surfin’ Safari,” “Fun, Fun, Fun,” “Sloop John B,” “Heroes and Villains,” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA “God, Only Knows.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

5/5

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