DJ Khaled is coming out with a new album soon. It is called Suffering from Success. This means that he had to post this picture of himself taking a bubble bath on Instagram, or else terrible, terrible things would have happened to the universe. DJ Khaled has a greater understanding of the universe, moon, stars and planetary alignments than we possibly could comprehend. He knows that if he did not post this picture of himself in a bathtub with an ominous bubble-less area where his crotch is, a meteor was going to smash the Earth into a thousand pieces and make the human race extinct. DJ Khaled is benevolent. That expression on his face? That's not him looking smug. That's him being The Best.
Much like this picture of Khaled and Rick Ross at a Wingstop, there's much, much more to unpack here than meets the eye. The most obvious question to ask is of the bubbles themselves. Does Khaled conflate bubble baths with opulence? He must, though I've gotta admit I conflate bubble baths with childhood. The non-bubbly area must be because he farted, and disrupted the flow of bubbles, right? Or maybe it was pee? Did somebody give him a bathtub HJ?
More alarming still: Who is in a bathroom with DJ Khaled taking his picture? Like, they're literally standing over his naked body, separated by nothing but bubbles and a bit of water. I can only assume it's Ace Hood. Other highlights of this image: There's a reflection in the marble floor that leads me to believe the room has a skylight, and also it appears that DJ Khaled uses an old-school Blackberry phone, as well as the iPhone that was used to take this picture.
When he isn't in bathtubs, DJ Khaled has been thinking. Or, rather, #THINKING, as evidenced by this recent 'stagram:
I'm hoping that #THINKING because Khaled's new signature ad-lib during Suffering from Success, as if the very act of thought itself becomes something that only few are capable of conducting on such a massively intense level as Khaled. The caption claims he's #THINKING about money, but what else is he #THINKING about? Success? Achievement? Money? Fame? The only thing that will tell is time.
Drew Millard is #THINKING over on Twitter - @drewmillard